Roemer's Reality

What am I gonna say. She liked the other guy better.

2009-08-03T11:04:00.003-05:00

The Swiderski's?

Well, it's been a week now since Jill and Ed became our new soon-to-be broken-up bachelor couple. But upon some reflection, I've been thinking that maybe they have a little bit more of a chance than some of our past couples. They do seem genuinely crazy about each other. And after all my concerns about Ed's workaholic ways, he did seem to be kind of a changed man about all that. Who knows? Maybe it could last....

It's ok Kip, not getting your way will be good for ya.

One thing I will say is that she absolutely made the right choice in choosing Ed over Kip. It seemed clear to me that Kip, while he definitely had real feelings for Jillian, was not in love with her. Maybe he would have been eventually, but he was pushing himself to try and feel more than he actually did. When she told him that she was in love with someone else, that should have been the most devastating moment of his life. He looked like he just found out he was out of coffee! And especially during the "After the Final Rose" ceremony, I think they rehearsed with him what questions he should ask, because he didn't seem like he had anything he needed to say. The whole thing seemed so forced and rehearsed. He's totally fine!!!!

On the other hand, oh my dear darling Reid. You poor sweet neurotic dear. When I saw him come back on the finale, I just felt so bad for him. I knew it was too late. He's so adorably screwed up, he's like the Woody Allen of reality tv. PLEASE make him the next Bachelor!! Not boring Kip or even more boring Jake!! He's SO cute, funny and REAL.....he just needs to grow up emotionally. And hello!! Now he has!! He acted spontaneously!! He expressed his feelings!! He said I love you!! This is the moment for him!! He just got his heart ripped into a million pieces on national television -- either he becomes a star on the next Bachelor and gets his ego restored by having 25 women worshiping him, or he marries the next ordinary woman he meets back in Philadelphia. How boring would that be!! Bring back Reid!!

So, here's wishing good luck to Jill and Ed. I truly hope they make it - they are way too pretty to be unhappy.

Till next time, folks....thanks for reading!

Let's face it. These guys aren't helping men out.

2009-07-24T08:28:00.004-05:00

King of the Douchebags came back to claim his crown!

Sorry for the late post this week, guys. I think I'm still recovering from David, the mayor of Man-Code Village, actually apologizing for his behavior. Of course, he only did so because he was pressured to do so on national television. I don't think he really saw that his behavior was wrong at all. He still totally believes that telling a girl she has a nice ass is appropriate on a date and that men who cry should be tied up and shot. Ahhh.....sexism and macho-ism - Alive and well. It was pretty crazy how the guys were all jumping on Jake. Sure the guy is boring and a little self-deluded, but he's not an asshole like David! That really surprised me. And they were all rushing to defend David most of the time. It was a pretty disgusting display up there. Except for dear, darling Michael, who was the only one who defended Jake and clearly was still nursing a pretty big wound over Jillian. What a sweetie!!

I thought Juan was pretty cool too. I just really feel for those guys who happened to be classy, mature, non-meathead types thrown in with all those other guys. It was like some kind of mob mentality happened in that house, and the frat boys took over and whoever didn't fit in got destroyed. I also thought that Chris Harrison was pretty damn classy, for once not being the objective host, making it pretty clear that he thought David crossed the line. Nice. Well, he knows where his bread is buttered, anyway.

I thought the Wes montage was awesome. Thank goodness they totally mocked the guy - I would have preferred if they didn't give his stupid song any more airtime but they were clearly showing him to be the loser all of "America" now believes him to be, so that was cool. Something tells me his career is not exactly going to be taking off the way he hoped.

Hey guys, what if the three of us see if we can make some magic happen?

So where was Reid? That was very disappointing....I really think that those two still belong together and she doesn't have a shot with the last two guys. I'm sorry, but I really want a shocking surprising finale where Reid returns!!! But I know I'm not going to get it...she's going to pick Kip and they will last about as long as it takes to pick the next Bachelor. And on that subject -- Please DON'T let it be JAKE!!!! I know that people are already pushing for it but he has about as much depth as a plastic kiddie pool!! It will be a horribly boring season!! Uchh....I can already tell they are probably going to go with him. Well, stay tuned folks. Maybe we'll be surprised.

FINALE next week!!!

I'm like, four. I'm like, I like you.

2009-07-15T18:31:00.004-05:00

But I really really like you!!!

Alas, Reid, it was not to be. Apparently emotional maturity is more important to Jillian than physical connection. And usually I might agree. But in these circumstances I argue - emotional maturity is something that can develop and grow with time, especially when the feelings and commitment are there. BUT chemistry is either there or it isn't, and it's pretty hard to develop or strengthen if it isn't there from the start. Case in point: Ed. So, in other words, Jilly dear, I think you made a big mistake. You let Ed's tall, dark and handsome-ness blind you to the fact that Reid was an oh-so-moldable and wonderful work in progress who was not only crazy about you, but who you were pretty crazy about yourself! There was a real chance at a future there! You said yourself that he made you feel differently than any of the other guys! And I stand by what I said last week that he is the realest of any of these guys -- far and away more real than Kiptyn, who always sounds to me like he has a staff of writers in his back pocket. And more real than Ed, who is completely kidding himself if he thinks he can really leave his workaholic self behind and suddenly someone who can balance a relationship and work -- he is not going to willingly give that up.

No, my dear, I'm afraid that you let the best chance you had at love go. And granted, it wasn't even that great a chance. Even Reid was an unlikely sure thing. He was skittish and indecisive and pretty much emotionally retarded, BUT he was genuinely honestly about it. And he was totally kooky for you, and the only one there who I think was really thinking past the rose ceremony and the international adventures and imagining how he might build a life with you. So he felt rushed and freaked out? Of course he did? Why do people always forget that this whole thing is absurd!! Every season, people are expected to act like it's perfectly sane to be thinking about marrying someone after 5 minutes and the ones who show that they're nervous about it are labeled commitment-phobes, when really they are reacting sanely to an insane situation.

Oh well - maybe Jillian will pull a Jason and realize in the end that all the guys left are wrong for her and she'll decide -- in the most dramatic episode in Bachelorette history -- that Reid was actually the one for her. Yeah, probably not.

Mr. Fabulous, Jill's likely choice, and soon-to-be heartbreaker.

So as for this week's episode, I don't have much to say except that I trust Kiptyn less and less and I am pretty damn sure he's going to "win." I think he's a guy just having a blast traveling the world, riding the motorcycles and zip-lines, going with the flow of all this adventure and sexyness, but when things get very real and not so glamorous, he's outta there, I have no doubt. Don't get me wrong, I think he's genuinely a very lovely guy and definitely cares about Jillian lots and all that, and I'm sure that he'll dump her in a very sweet, sensitive and loving way. He may even cry.

I have to go take care of some work stuff, but I'll be back in time for the final rose ceremony.

And then there's Ed....oh Ed. This guy is becoming clearer to me now. Can he be more of a boring investment banker dude? I mean, I myself was sort of blinded by his looks when you get past that, you realize he's just kind of this suit-dude who's been working 70-hour weeks for 5 years and partying with a bunch of other dudes in suits. He probably doesn't have the first clue about what it takes to sustain a real relationship. He just seems psyched to be scoring with a hot chick! Wait - I'm sorry - NOT scoring. Now, this was some seriously crazy shit. Like SUPER serious red flag. Jillian, how could you not realize that this was SO not to be ignored?? Because, folks, I'm sorry, but I don't care how tired and sunburned you are, but if you can't get down and dirty in the freakin' FANTASY SUITE in MAUI??? With someone you've supposedly been dying to get down and dirty with for weeks???? Then there is just no way that shit is EVER GOING TO HAPPEN. Because you don't get better than that. Jillian: Run, don't walk! Get the hell out of there! May sound harsh, but there is no way those two will ever work! What was she thinking letting that go?

I think the fact that he said I love you to her was what did her in. That's like crack to single woman in her 30s. I hate to say it, but it's true. Women can still get really goofy when they hear that, totally not realizing that some guys can say "I love you" like they say "please pass the potatoes." I'm not saying that Ed's not sincere, but I thought it seemed a little desperate. I think he pulled out the big guns, knowing that he couldn't pull out the big gun in the bedroom. He knew that's all he had left in his arsenal to win her over!! And she should know better than to let his saying that wipe out all of her other concerns. Sure, she pulled him aside before the rose ceremony because she was supposedly so worried about what happened, but he didn't say anything that addressed the issue at all! He gave her some kind of general explanation that was kind of just like -- "Whatever you're worried about, just don't be." And she felt better after that?? Oh Jillian, and your poor decision making skills....

On that note, I dedicate this column to our dearly departed Michael and Reid, two very great guys who got away. May they find the love they deserve, preferably outside of the reality television world! Hmm....but that might mean I might not know about it. I change my mind - may one of them be the next Bachelor!!

It ain't me dude.

2009-07-08T09:00:00.005-05:00

Wes, aka, demon-man who needs no more publicity.

Somehow, the inevitable unveiling of Wes as the asshole he truly is didn't make me nearly as happy as I thought it would. His behavior and attitude was so disgusting that it mostly just made me feel nauseous to see Wes "uncut." He was so smug about how far he had gotten having duped her without an ounce of regret, it just made me feel more embarrassed for her all over again. And why didn't she lay into him more? I really wish she had outed him in front of the other guys. But I have to hand it to her - she has a lot of class and handled him beautifully.

And what about Wes bragging to the other guys about going home and having lots of sex?? So gross!! While they are actually standing there all nervous....that was one of the most sickening displays I've ever witnessed. OK, sure, I laughed my ass off. I mean, you had to. He's ridiculous! He's a joke. It was hilarious to see the three guys standing there, all tense and stiff in their nice suits and there's Wes, in jeans and an un-tucked shirt smirking like an idiot and looking totally guilty. This guy gives new meaning to douchebag. He is king of all douchebags. The ultimate douchebag moment: Jillian is crying having realized the truth, it's clearly over, he's just blown his cover about having a girlfriend when the overnight date-card arrives and he says, "I think we should go for it actually." Wow. You have to hand it to the guy, he's consistent.

I just really hope that ABC doesn't play up this scandal too much and give him the publicity he is so obviously begging for. Let him disappear back to Rat-Dog, Mexico, where they seem to love him so much and let that be the end of it. The man has certainly not earned any fans among women here! And as for country music fans, I don't know any personally, but his music did not seem all that special to me...I think ABC should talk only to Jake and give him the justification he deserves for doing the right thing by Jillian and not let Wes anywhere near anymore cameras - ever. Do I think that's what they'll do? A girl can dream, right? He'll probably get his own freakin' show.

OK, so we have more important things to discuss! Like guys that Jillian might actually end up with!! First of all, how classy was Jillian to turn down the overnight dates?? Well, mostly anyway. Seriously, though, that's the first time I've seen someone do that. Yes, she spent the night with Ed but it seemed legitimately not about sex. I really appreciated that she didn't let the show dictate the progression of her relationships on this issue - because they do so on everything else.

So, where do we stand? I thought it was interesting that Kip was so sure he was the one going home....what was that about? Why was he feeling so vulnerable? Why was he the last name called? Something has shifted there. He does seem to me to be very conservative with his feelings and kind of going with the experience more than always seeming into her. She is starting to worry about this too. She needs to know it's about HER and he seems to be only just beginning to think about that.

Reid's is the one.

I think Reid is adorable, funny and the most real of all the guys. He's not the smoothest guy in the world and I love that about him. He doesn't always know the perfect way to say what he wants to say, but he's trying because he is so genuinely into her. You can see him really falling in love with her, and really trying to talk about it. It's genuine and honest and truly about her. I think they seem like the most real-life couple of any of them. I hope she can see that.

Then there's Ed....oh, Ed. He really is just yummy to look at and I didn't blame the girl for a second for just wanting to make out with him all over Spain. He is striking and dashing in a way that none of the guys are. But all of that doesn't really mean much. Who is the guy in the end? He seems to be a successful workaholic and he's proven that pretty consistently. I believe he's a good guy and that he genuinely has feelings for her and he wants to make this work, but I also believe that in the long haul of a relationship, when things stopped being so new and romantic all the time, that the lure of work would become the priority for him pretty quick. She should not forget those concerns about him, because I think they are pretty valid.

So, my hope is that it comes down to Kip and Reid, because I think they are her best chances at a real relationship. I have a bad feeling that she's going to let Reid go because of this weird concern that they are too different....and because Ed is too hot to let go of. But that would be a big mistake. I'm rooting for Reid all the way, but my money is on Kip making it to the end. Do I think any of these relationships have a chance in hell of lasting after the credits roll? Sadly, probably not. But hey, Jason and Molly are still together, right? Not that he picked her in the first place....

Whatever you people do, do not feed the Wes publicity machine!!

It's Bananas!

2009-07-02T14:08:00.004-05:00

Her love for country music is her downfall in more ways than one...

Oh, Jillian....dear, sweet, innocent, stupid stupid stupid Jillian. Can you really really not look at Wes and not see the slime dripping off his skin and the evil in his smile? Have there really not been enough warning signs telling you this is a pretty bad start to a new relationship? What about Jake, the most stand-up guy in the universe coming to tell you that the dude is a lying sack of dog shit - now do you not think maybe it's time to call it a day? Nope. Not our girl. She just sits back, lets herself get manipulated over and over again, and we have sit and watch that weasel as he does it.

Don't get me wrong -- I know it's easy to be watching from my safe objective living room and saying all this. And we've all been fooled by jerks in our day - in our 20s maybe...BUT, I'm also sure that none of us have been simultaneously dating 4 other guys we were pretty damn sure were completely crazy about us at the same time that we were dating the jerk. I mean, she even said, "Do I trust the perfect guy or the bad boy?" Really? There's a question? No one is saying you have to date Jake but the man is practically a superhero. He saves babies and kittens in his spare time - he's not lying. And Wes - uch. That man!!!! Her attraction to him really makes me wonder if she's as together as she seems. Or maybe he just really is that convincing.

The worst part was when we finally met his family (after he manipulated Jillian into it) and it turned out to be a family made up entirely of females. So of course the guy knows how to play women! He grew up in a family full of them!! And there they were, all sitting around, giggling and worshipping Wes, laughing at how all other guys are nothing compared to his greatness. The guy's been convinced he hung the moon from the day he was born so he may not even realize how manipulative he is! Truly scary.

The return of....Ed? Can we get this guy a better name??

But of course many other things happened last night...Holy surprise Ed appearance!! That man is super attractive - he gets more handsome every time I see him and it's kind of surprising. He's just a surprise all around! I was happy for Jillian because I knew she needed the esteem boost after the whole awful Wes vs. Jake humiliation. And she really took Ed's leaving badly. So I'm thrilled he's back in the mix. I just think it's funny that he was all like, "I made a big mistake, I missed you, etc." No, dude - you made sure your job was secure, and you came back! Totally understandable.

Alas, my prediction was correct - no more darling young Michael.

As for the hometown dates, can we just say that Michael is the sweetest, cutest, funnest guy with the sweetest and funnest family? And he is going to make someone soooo happy....eventually. He was just way too young to be settling down just yet. And how adorable that he had too big a crush to even realize it! Oh man, if I didn't already have my man -- and wasn't also Jillian's age, I'd be hopping on the subway to Astoria right now to find the dude.

Reid worried me a little on his hometown date- only because his family was SO shocked to see him be even remotely affectionate with a girl. It made me question him a bit. Is he really being himself with Jillian? Or is it just really the first time he's fallen so hard for someone? I hope that's what it is...

And can we talk a moment about Kiptyn's family? I don't want to offend anyone. Well, that's not necessarily true....but am I the only one who thought they were insanely snobbish and obnoxious? To Kiptyn's credit, I don't see that in him at all -- but is Jillian really going to feel at home in that snooty, wealthy family? The whole thing had a very unpleasant and fake vibe that I thought was the antithesis of all things Jillian and it made me wonder about Kiptyn himself. I just hope she's keeping that in mind and not just thinking about getting in his pants.

The final four - finally.

Going forward, we really are down to the big gun guys -- all the ones she's really genuinely crazy about, which, sadly, very much includes Wes. I think Ed has to do some big time emotional catch-up to make up for all the time he missed. And Reid has to step up emotionally too. Kip seems to be able to do no wrong and can coast on the chemistry that knows no bounds. As for the devil in blue jeans, every week I hope is the week he shows his true colors, but he keeps showing 'em, and she keeps turning her head, so I don't know what has to happen to make her finally leave him rose-less. The thing I'm counting on now is the fact that I really don't think he's really all that into her! So maybe it won't be about him having a girlfriend or being there for the music or any of that crap....it will be that he's not showing enough emotion. And that will be the last straw -- I hope.

Michael - keep dancing.

See you next week guys!

Love doesn't have a job.

2009-06-24T16:48:00.002-05:00

Evil incarnate - thy name is Wes. Go back to Chihuahua!!!!

Aaah...nothing like group dating on a high-speed train to make the inevitable finally happen!! Wes was finally revealed as the slimy mercenary we knew him to be -- well, at least to all the guys....while poor Jillian was still left hanging out in the breeze, being openly duped by the guy, and no one said a word to her about it! And, was it me or did Chris Harrison seem to be milking the situation just a little bit too much asking her all those leading questions about him? Anyway, I understand why the guys don't say anything about Wes to her, because who wants to be the guy who talks shit? That guy gets sent home. And speaking of -- finally and WAY overdue -- Tanner got sent home, freakish foot-loving ways and all. You know, again, what's so odd about that guy is not how much he loves women's feet, but the fact that that's pretty much ALL that's interesting about the dude. Wait -- I'm sorry - I stand corrected. Apparently, he's packing quite the johnson in his jock strap. But we SO shouldn't know that. I mean, on this show, you really know a guy A) is getting desperate and B) has a lame personality when the best idea he has under pressure is to take his pants off. (At least he had the good sense to do it indoors as opposed to the dipshit at the beginning of the season so he wasn't, um, poorly misjudged). But, alas, even his manly-sized manhood was not enough to save him from his lack of personality or his obsession with all things podiatric.

My current fave, Reid - is this really the best photo they had??

In other great news, my two faves, Reid and Michael, surged ahead, with Reid showing great promise in his one on one. Yes, he's neurotic. Big deal! As a New York Jew, I find his pet peeves and phobias completely normal and also totally adorable, but Jillian might not find them quite so likable. (By the way, Jillian - who the heck doesn't wash fruit from the grocery store?? That's just crazy.) But I loved her take on him - that he lets his "freak flag" fly and is very comfortable in his own skin. Reid is a totally mature, smart and funny guy and he just knows who he is. We all have our little harmless pecadillos and it's better to know them, and put them out there then to have them fester and surface later in a big scary surprise mess. Also, they have great chemistry and a natural flow together. And I speak from personal experience when I say that it's not about having a common background or a common past - it's about having a common language and a common way of living and dealing with the world that matters and makes a relationship work. Go Reid! Go nerdy obsessive Jew boys!!

Ok - so my team is clear. But I am still a huge Michael fan. I just think his age is becoming more and more of an apparent hindrance. His wit and charm continue to impress but I just don't see him outlasting Kip or Jesse in the romance department. Those guys are just way more smooth and as much as I loved Michael saying he wants to be a "young dad," Jillian and I both know that saying it and doing it are two VERY different things. I'm afraid Michael is not long for this competition.

Can YOU tell them apart??

So, what about Kip and Jesse? And yes, I keep grouping them together because I still can't distinguish one from the other. Yes, I know...Kip is the one that she has the amazing mondo chemistry with and yes, she seems to definitely think she's falling for him...or at least she knows she's ready to do it with him. But she's also got a big ol' crush on Jesse too, and I just feel like I keep seeing the same great sensitive speeches from both of them, "You're so awesome....blah blah blah" But there is just something so generic about them! Like they're great, but what else? What's missing? WHO are they? What do you guys think? I'm stumped.

Poor Jake took the train back to his plane...

And, alas, dear sweet clueless Jake....he went the way of the nice guy, the perfect guy, the born to be the best friend guy. When he told her, "You're a lot like my mom!" Ick. He's the guy who was prom king in high school and has never quite emotionally matured beyond that. Life has to get bigger than that, dude! It was SO hard for him just to tell her his feelings and then it came out, "I really really like you!" In your thirties?? That's how you express yourself? Wow. I mean, a totally incredibly and amazingly nice guy, but he needs to have some deeper life experiences that he can't control - experiences that don't happen up in a plane. He needs to question his beliefs and doubt himself and wonder if maybe he's wrong about some things. Frankly, he could make an amazing candidate for the Bachelor -- he IS totally hot and perfect and so incredibly caring. But he needs some damn charisma. We'll see what happens when he comes back next week - maybe this experience really gave him the jolt he needed to step up and question himself the way he needs to? Maybe they are already grooming him for Bachelor, Season 106. (I have no freakin clue how many we're up to now)

xoxo
Roemer

The first little spark of awesomeness.

2009-06-18T11:27:00.002-05:00

Can we get back to eliminating like four at a time of these suckers?

Sorry for the delay on the blog guys. I know...Life before reality? Shame on me!

So is it me or is taking forever to get to the front-runners this time around? I think it's because they started out with way too many guys AND they seem to be eliminating them much slower than usual. I mean, we could have let go of at least 3 or 4 easily last night!! Two guys? Come on already!

Um, in this economy? Call me crazy, but I think a reliable paycheck is a slightly safer bet.

So Ed's leaving to save his job - damn straight he is!! This whole thing is why I should never watch the coming attractions. Because of course they had us thinking that it was all going to come out about Wes and his harem carrying his love child back home....but instead it was a thoroughly boring storyline about Ed's tech-job crisis?? Snooze....I mean, Ed is lovely and handsome and they had some chemistry, but I highly doubt he was going to make it to the top 3. He just didn't have the personality compared to some of these other guys. He definitely made the right decision. I understand her being a little hurt but it's really not fair to ask the guy to give up his JOB for a 1 in 10 shot at what is most likely going to be a 3-month relationship!! I mean, come on!! I think she was crying because she was so used to calling the shots that it felt crappy to have a guy decide they didn't like her enough to stay. It was probably a real blow after being worshipped for weeks - has to make you lose your perspective a bit.

Case in point: Mr. country singer himself. This guy just seems like a total tool to me! Besides the accent and semi-decent looks, I mean what is so amazing about him?? She really has such a thing for this whole Western motif that it is totally blinding her to the fact that Wes is a total smooth lying womanizer!! And I really really hope the truth comes out soon because she looks stupider every week when it comes to him.

I'm starting to develop a bit of a crush on Reid I have to say, but he might go the way of Mark if he doesn't step it up. And my crush on Michael remains strong, but I'm worried he could be a little on the young side. I picked up on some immaturity on their date and that might make him not the one for her...and what was with the kiss on the cheek? He might be heading towards the friend-zone.

The guy to beat?

It's SOOOO past time to say goodbye to Tanner and Robby - and sadly, maybe even Jake. I had high hopes for him, but he's not showing much in the personality department as time goes on. Right now, I think Kip is the man in front. She is positively ga-ga over him and that just might take him to the end. But is it just me who thinks he's got bad hair? Oh well - I can overcome it! Also, he and Jesse are kind of similar right now and I need to see more of both to get a better read on what's happening. Get rid of some of these other distracting losers!!

I'm very excited by next week! Of course, there I go, believing the coming attractions, which made it seem like we were going to be hearing about guys not performing in the bedroom! Wow - that would be a Bachelor first! They usually never even confirm that they have sex! Let's get into the intimacy issues- yes, I love it!!!! Crap, I'm being totally manipulated, aren't I? It's probably not about sex at all....but how great would it be if Wes couldn't get it up?

Till next time....

Roemer

I would have never gone in for a kiss right now if everybody else hasn't already kissed you and I feel like if I didn't then I'm not gonna get a rose.

2009-06-11T17:15:00.005-05:00

Why did Jillian send me home when I know she likes me the best? I'm so confused....

I want to dedicate this post to all the dumb -- can i just say it? -- douchebags like David who have absolutely NO idea who they are OR what women want, need, or think. I know of course that there are other people out there who need our help much more than these poor pathetic losers, but surely someone has an extra million lying around to dedicate to educating these poor misinformed gentleman?

Then again....I think we can agree that David's 3 minutes with Jillian tonight was some of the worst (and funniest) "moves" any one drunken idiot has attempted to lay on a woman ever captured on film? Alright, maybe that's some Bachelorette-style exaggeration, but still, it was a privileged to witness. He actually thought that she was playing hard to get!! He made a comment about her "tits hanging out" -- and then went in for a kiss!!! Oh, it was priceless. And this guy is all about a "man code?" What about a code of decency, dude? What about respect? You know, if it wasn't so gosh darned hilarious, I might actually be offended by the guy.

Hey, maybe I can catch a ride home with David?

So in the stunner of the evening, Juan got the boot along with Douchebag Dave. Somehow, crazy foot-loving Tanner just keeps hanging on! I think someone made a comment about producer intervention when it comes to this guy, and it's starting to seem like that to me too. They must be hoping he's gonna start sucking on her toes and they smell ratings gold....Because I just don't see ANY chemistry between those two. And we all know that the guy who rats out the other guys usually gets sent home! But I guess Jillian's suspicions of Juan just weren't sitting right with her and the accusations were too much to handle. And Wes has got her completely fooled. I can't wait till he gets exposed for the slick womanizing liar he really is.

Shy is alright, but it helps to be hot.

What's amazing about a show like this is it really shows you how attraction totally screws up our brains. Take the two-on-one date for example. Jillian really wasn't super attracted to Mike, that was obvious, so she could very clearly see that all his big talk was just that - talk. BUT - if she was really into him, he might have come off like the greatest guy ever with all that pretty-sounding bullshit he was spouting. Of course, it's also true that when you have natural chemistry with someone, you don't have to work so hard....so maybe that's why Mike came off like such a forced fake? But see - this is why I really loved Mark. (Although, he's pretty damn cute...so maybe MY brain isn't to be trusted on this!) But I really appreciated that he was just himself: which happened to be a slightly shy, soft-spoken guy with a dry sense of humor. He didn't TRY to be the guy he thought she'd like - he was just himself and let that be enough. And it was. I was SO happy and proud of Jillian for really getting him - and seeing through Mike's song and dance.

Look!! My eyes perfectly match my shirt!!

Lastly, a note to Jake - if people close to you keep telling you you're "too perfect," this is not a sign that everyone else is an idiot. This is a sign that that you have more work to do on yourself. I know it's hard to see the logic in that. But people are not perfect - they can't be. In fact, if you seem like you're perfect, you eventually freak other people out, because they know that you must be burying your shit really deep. And if the shit has to be buried down that deep, then it must be some really BAD shit. Now I'm not saying that's this is what is actually happening with you, only that it's partly the reason women are eventually repelled by you. You've gotta dig deeper man - flaws are what make us beautiful and real and who we are. Otherwise, we'd be freakin' mannequins.

That's all for now....Really looking forward to next week when the very cute, funny and charming Michael finally gets some one-on-one time!

Till then, write me.
Roemer

Looking for that mythical unicorn.

2009-06-03T14:40:00.005-05:00

Has anyone seen Jillian?

So...in tonight's (ugh) Western-themed episode, (anyone else completely sick of the Western theme?) we certainly found out who the good, the bad, and the ugly were. David is obviously a psycho who needs anger management and quite possibly medication. Sure, Juan might be a little too cool for school, but does he deserve to be strung up? I don't think so. Why is David so mad at Juan anyway? Why not be mad at Wes, who so obviously has another agenda for being there? I don't understand it.

Sent home while foot-lover and crazy-eyes live on.

I guess I also don't understand what Jillian IS really looking for (not to sound like all the guys now) but she got rid of Sasha? Sure, I had some initial concerns about him, but he could not have been more lovely to her on their date, and he opened up more than I've seen any of these other guys do yet. (a note to Wes and to Jillian: singing a song you wrote over and over is actually NOT the same as opening up). Sasha expressed himself way more than Ed did, who got a rose, although he was actually very shy and held back. Sure, Ed was sweet and I really liked him, but Jillian had to force information out of him. And here's poor Sasha, telling her his most personal story, which she said really meant a lot to her, but she got rid of him because he never got his heart broken. So what?? If that's such a deal-breaker for her, why doesn't she ask every every guy that question? AND, it's bullshit anyway, because she knows for a fact that Kip has also never had his heart broken. But she decided that their great chemistry was more important. So what was it really about Sasha?

I don't get it. A smart, mature, beautiful man like that is gone while we still have guys like good ol' "having a foot fetish makes me special" Tanner P. hanging around?? That guy is clearly just a very otherwise boring guy who has only one interesting thing going for him. He just doesn't seem to realize that the one thing he has going for him happens to make him creepy and gross.

Secretly in love with Juan?

And I just have to say it again -- this whole David thing freaks me out. The man is clearly NOT WELL!! He's absolutely fixated on Juan way more than Jillian!! And did anyone else notice that his left eye kept twitching while he talked about it? It's amazing to me that he hasn't decked someone already. And yet, the other guys seem to be standing by him! What am I missing? Has Juan been murdering puppies off-screen without our knowledge? What exactly are his offenses, besides not doing a stupid shot with the guys?

Oh, if only I was born when women were only prostitutes and farm-wives!

Anyway, the other important thing about the episode was that I was really happy about was Jillian's date with Ed - not because Ed seems like he could be a great guy for her, but because of the date. Finally!! She wasn't posing on top of a car, or playing the damsel in distress -- she was climbing down a building in the middle of downtown L.A. Thank you -- Now I remember why I liked this girl -- She's fearless and awesome!! She threw herself off that building like she'd been doing it all her life!! That's more like it, Jillian. Can you PLEASE get over your Western petticoat fantasy bullshit and have more real dates!! Or at least ones where you get to kick ass? You are a strong woman who doesn't need to be rescued!!!

Predictions for next week:
1. David's true colors come out and he gets the axe (please?)
2. Wes adds a second line to his stupid song
3. Tanner P. gets drunk and talks about feet
4. We find out something about the mysterious and very cute Mark...

COMMENTS? QUESTIONS? TIRADES?

Write me!

-Roemer

It's Man Code

2009-05-27T20:34:00.005-05:00

Gillian, blinded by man worship.

Hi all! First of all -- a shout-out to my friends in Northern California! Nice to know I have a following there! Can't wait to come back there for a visit!

OK - so down to business. Credit goes to all of you guys who caught my (ahem) uncharacteristic mistake about foot fetish guy, who is indeed alive and well and very much still in the game. I think I must have been so overwhelmed by the enormous gang of lunkhead crazies they gathered for this season that I was dizzy and lost my way....but yes, my mistake.

So once again, our girl won me over by starting this week's episode talking about how she's not your typical "big boob model" type (Trista fans - pay attention) but I have to say that overall, I found Gillian kind of a disappointment this week. Granted, I know I'm being kind of ridiculous, trying to hold her to an unrealistic feminist standard that is completely non-existent in the world of a reality tv dating show -- but I don't care!!!! I feel a little betrayed.

When she was dating Jason last season, she was so independent and spunky and smart. But now, she's all "I always fall for the bad guy" and I can't drive because "Ha Ha I'm a girl!" and the one that really made me gag on my cheerios, I really think he can "take care of me." Ach!!! What's happening to her?? Is the experience of being totally worshipped and lusted after by 20 hot guys just making her totally nuts? Wait a minute....Now that I say it, now that I think about it....that might honestly make me a little insane too. Or anyone insane! Ok fine. I'm going to grant dear Gillian, who I've loved in the past, a diagnosis of temporary insanity, and hope that as the number of guys dwindle, her sense and strength will return.

David, he of the crazy eyes and man code of stupidity.

So, as for tonight's show, there really isn't too much to say. Car races, bank vaults and the Harlem Globetrotters. I don't think the producers know what to do with this many guys either! But here's what I think we learned that was most important: Wes and David are very clearly both bad news. Wes is your basic self-involved asshole, plain and simple. And David is just dumb, violent and scary! "Let's tie him to a tree!" Really?? You're that pissed at Juan for not being a jocky testosterone-soaked freak like you? Wow. He and his "man-code" need to GO.

Me likey.

The other very clear thing -- and it was already clear to me last week -- is that Jake is positively aces. And tonight, I think I fell a little bit in love with the guy. That was a pretty lovely date they had and perhaps the other guys should all just go home right now. Except that I have a big old crush on Michael, who I really hope sticks around a while.

Otherwise, there is the Juan question, and while I certainly don't think he's the devil like David does, I don't entirely trust him either. He seems a bit rehearsed, but also sometimes genuine and sweet. Too soon to tell. And then there are some other guys who we just don't know well enough yet but who seem like they could be pretty cool - Reid, Robby, Kiptyn, Ed....

Awesome! Now that I showed her my wiener, I'm sure to get a rose!!

But with all the disappointments and weirdness and unnecessary basketball that was last night's episode, there was ONE very very happy moment which made it all worthwhile....and you know what I'm talking about. Good ol' "hey there little hottie" Brian, the hick idiot extraordinaire, decided to take all his clothes off and jump in the pool because that was all his little tiny brain (and apparently that's not all that was little and tiny) could come up with to get Gillian's attention. And yes, she finally sent him home. And probably not because of he did that, but because he's a hick idiot. So, his humiliating send-off was just gravy.

Here's to less gimmicks and less guys next week.

Looking for Mr. Invisible

2009-05-20T18:54:00.002-05:00

Wonder woman.

Can we just say that we love her?!! A woman who openly says that she is someone who relies more on her personality than her looks?? Who admits to NOT being drop dead gorgeous?? Have we found the closest thing to a feminist icon that a Bachelor-type reality show is ever likely to produce?? Well....not if the producers have anything to do with it....What was with those opening car wash shots?? As if Jillian is going to have wash her own new sports car! Please. Yes, she has a cute butt - we get it. Thank you for making sure we know how important that is compared to what she's saying...

But god bless her, she hung on to her feisty individuality and balked at the notion of finding her "husband" with a capital H on that first night, no matter how much the issue was pressed.

Let the games begin.

So, there's almost too much to say about this batch of wackos that they got together for her -- between the disgusting fitness model guy who had some nonsensical and unpronounceable nickname and the -- I'm sorry -- ignorant hick who thought that calling her "Hot Tub Harris" referring to her relationship with the Bachelor last season was endearing....AND THEN went on to dismiss the entire city of New York (MY hometown, thank you very much) because of "all the ethnicity." WOW. That guy had me at hello, let me tell ya.

Thank goodness she had the obvious sense to get rid of that guy. WAIT a minute!!! She didn't??? You mean, she kept ignorant hick dude and got rid of perfectly nice John P. and adorable Brooklyn thrift store guy, who was, granted, a little immature, but very sweet! Even Stephen, the nerdy lawyer guy, who never even had the nerve to say a word to her would have been better than THAT guy! Oh, Jillian, WHY??

"Hey, remember when you almost had sex in the hot tub with that other guy? That was hot!"

Anyway, I'm happy with her other picks. I liked Jake (pilot guy) Juan (cue the Spanish music guy) and Michael (break dance guy) from the start -- all three are very cute and seem sweet. It's too soon to tell of course....oh, and at least creepy foot fetish guy got the boot. (ha)

One prediction - Sasha is pretty hot, but my radar totally went off when I saw that guy. Something is saying he's no good. That's just my instinct - or bullshit.

So, I'm very happy to be with you all again. Thanks so much for logging on.

SEND COMMENTS!!! I love it!!!!!

BACHELORETTE BLOG IS COMING...

2009-05-16T11:40:00.003-05:00

Longing for Runway....

2009-03-25T18:55:00.005-05:00

Totally just saw Tim Gunn looking as dapper as can be on my way home from work tonight and I didn't even think about it - I just screamed, "Oh my god, I love you, you're fabulous!!" It was all I could do not to throw my arms around him. He laughed and said "Well thank you very much." That man is just pure class. Runway, we miss you.

Overkill, maybe?

2009-03-03T22:27:00.005-05:00

Alright people, let's get a grip here. He didn't shoot her in the head. He broke up with her -- after six weeks. Yes, I know. They were engaged. But, very very prematurely engaged. Kind of forcefully engaged, if you think about it. Come on - every season of the Bachelor has ended with a proposal. And then a few months later, there's been a break-up -- the huge difference is we're just not usually in the room for it. And yes, it was brutal. But that was also because we -- I'm sorry -- "America" had just seen the image of a happy family, jumping in the pool after a crazily romantic engagement. Then - BAM!! Ten minutes later he's dumping her and she's calling him a bastard! But there were six weeks that actually occurred in between those events. And then yet another six weeks that occurred between that event and tonight's show, in which Jason and Molly showed they've managed to stay together. Well, big deal.

I like Jason a lot. I really really do. I think he's probably the most genuine, sweet and honest man we've ever had on this show. But he's clearly a bit susceptible to falling too quickly and jumping in head first. So for me, the only issue I have with anything that Jason did was proposing to Melissa (or to anyone for that matter) after only a few weeks of dating. BUT, as I've always said, I am almost positive that ABC pressures these guys on all these things -- and maybe even makes them sign something -- to promise to propose at the end of the show. Remember -- funny-man Bob Guinea decided to end his season with a faithful promise to you know, hang out and stuff. That shit did not fly. Of course Jason got down on his knee, with that crazy ring he didn't pay for with the 14,000 diamonds on it and the insane scenery and the tuxes and the fancy dresses and the cameras and all that pressure....man, it's amazing these guys don't end up in rehab by the end of these shows. Oh -- and Jason also had the minor stress of a lovely little visit from DeAnna (courtesy of ABC I have no doubt) to cope with right in the middle of it all!! And who would have thought that would be the least dramatic thing that happened in the finale??

Look, all I'm saying, "America," or whoever you angry people are who think Jason's a jerk for what he did to Melissa -- and I mean, people besides Naomi or other women who Jason might also have dumped recently -- the man did what he had to do. He was honest and he was true to his feelings and he didn't want to lead anyone on further. Make no mistake. I agree that it was very very ---- very --- unfortunate that he was forced to do it live on television. But he really had no other option. What was he supposed to do? Pretend on live television that they were still together? Things were clearly already not ok with them. They hadn't been for weeks. There was no way around it. Was he supposed to fight for a relationship he knew after a few months was definitely not going to work? Fighting for a relationship is very important, but only when you're absolutely sure it's worth fighting for.

Anyway, I just hope SO SO much that Jason and Molly make this thing work for just SO SO many reasons....first of all, duh, I want them to be happy. But mostly, I just cannot stand watching those endlessly nauseating montages of Trista and Ryan building snowmen together anymore as the poster child couple of this show. That woman makes me want to rip my eyes out. Sure, they're happy. They have no personalities!! And yes I know. They are not the only couple anymore. Charlie and Sarah got back together. Big deal. I need a marriage, people! And Jason is just the man to make it happen.....or to freak out and dump her for DeAnna. I give it six more weeks.

Oh -- and PS - I totally called Jillian as the next Bachelorette! Check out my blog post from a few weeks ago. I couldn't be happier about it! She's totally awesome and adorable. Yay Canadian spunky chick!

STAY TUNED FOR A NEW POST AFTER THE (FINAL) "AFTER THE FINAL ROSE" TONIGHT!!!!! CAN'T HARDLY STAND IT!! THERE'S MORE???

2009-03-03T11:28:00.003-05:00

The. Most. Dramatic. Blog. Ever.

2009-02-17T09:20:00.004-05:00

Not so fast, Gillian.

So...a couple of things. First of all -- I predict Miss Gillian will be the next Bachelorette. Totally! I think she was the most awesome woman on that show - even too cool for Jason - and deserves to find love the way nature intended - on television.

Also, are they EVER going to stop saying that each season's finale is the MOST dramatic in "Bachelor History???" Every year with that same crap!! I mean, granted, with DeAnna coming back, Jason crying on the balcony, and apparently, some kind of major huge announcement at the end, they may not be kidding, but at this point, I just don't trust it, since they've made that claim every damn season. But seriously, DeAnna? You chose the big-nosed snowboarder dude and you broke up with him like a week later -- too bad, honey!! You need to lie in your bed and leave poor Jason alone!! Although, you know the freaking producers of the Bachelor must have paid to have her flown out to New Zealand! That's just not cool.

Ok - last thing. Stop telling us that you're going to re-visit with couples from Bachelor's seasons past when there is literally ONE couple from previous seasons that is still together. (Last I heard, even Byron and Mary hit the skids - correct me if I'm wrong.) And I don't know about ya'll, but Trista and Ryan made me nauseous back when it was their season. I certainly don't need to see any more of them now...although I'm all about seeing past threesomes of seasons past. That's more like it, Bachelor. Now we're talking. And being way more realistic about what your show actually is good at.

Ahhh....reality bliss.

Note to Shannon and Nikki:

2009-01-29T09:26:00.002-05:00

Desperation and begging are not attractive!!!!! Crying in his arms, "Come home with me!!" is not going to get you a kiss let alone a boyfriend!

Nikki: It's not about being perfect. There is no such thing. It's not about who's better or prettier or smarter! This isn't high school. It's about being right for someone! It makes me so sad how insecure some of these girls are who are so amazing and talented and with just a little therapy they could see that if they don't learn how to feel good about themselves on their own first, then they are just going to put way too much pressure on a relationship. And one other thing... Nikki, the fact that you were with someone for ELEVEN years and it was a shock that he didn't want to marry you just screams that you were in total denial and in an immature relationship not based on openness or communication. Maybe this experience will help get these girls get some help....

Note to the gals:

2009-01-20T14:03:00.002-05:00

Natalie: Attraction and Connection are NOT the same thing. She had no concept that Jason could be attracted to her and yet still feel that they had nothing in common and had no chemistry. She is the perfect example of a girl who has relied on her looks all her life to get her everything and has not bothered to develop herself beyond that. I was not at all shocked that Jason was able to see very quickly that she was a fairly shallow and immature individual....hopefully there is someone else in that house who is more than that. It remains to be seen: Megan IS kind of a scary bitch. Shannon is very sweet but let's face it, she's a total mess! Lauren is an immature drama-girl and Nikki is lovely but has NO idea who the hell she is or how to be comfortable in her own skin. Molly and Gillian seem sorta cool and Stephanie is nice and a great mom but I just do not see chemistry between her and Jason. Oh - and if she's 34, I'm a blonde.

See ya'll next week.

Return of Bachelor Blog!

2009-01-04T13:18:00.003-05:00

I'm back, ya'll. Stay tuned for my first post on the season premiere Monday night, January 5th!!

Election Night Thoughts

2008-11-04T19:57:00.002-05:00

Being in school for Social Work in NYC right now gives me an interesting perspective on the current election. I am absolutely overjoyed and thrilled at the prospect of an Obama presidency but I have not forgotten the way that Hillary was so flagrantly personally attacked by the right AND left for things that no male candidate would ever be attacked for. And I'm not at all defending the ridiculous Sarah Palin, but she too has been used as a poster child for why women are "not ready" to serve in office. The way Hillary was treated and pushed out of the race and the joke that IS the nomination of someone like Sarah Palin have served to push women back further than I thought we could go.

Again, I am beyond ecstatic to perhaps be witnessing the election of the first African-American president but will I live to see the first woman elected to executive office -- even as vice president?? This country still has SO SO far to go.

And let's also not forget that John Edwards was the only candidate who actually didn't accept corporate money (Hill and Barack did) and most importantly, the only candidate who had any radical policy ideas to change the rampant poverty in this country! Yes, the middle class are in trouble, but it is the growing number of poor and lower class individuals in this country who are suffering in an economic trap they cannot get out of. Edwards was the only candidate to even discuss raising the poverty line in this country, which has remained absurdly unchanged since the 1970's, and that has kept so many people from receiving the benefits and assistance they so desperately need. So, instead, Edwards was scandalized out of politics altogether over a private issue that any other western nation would take note of and move on.

And to continue on the cynical note, I do think Obama will get elected, thank goodness, BUT will he be able to follow through on his promises? He has already moved further from the left than I think he wanted to -- on the war, on gay marriage -- for the sake of getting elected.

Let's hope that what I believe to be his true LIBERAL and PROGRESSIVE points of view can find their way into creating actual policy CHANGES in this country, where gay marriage is still outlawed in almost all of our states, Roe v. Wade is very much in jeopardy, where 1% of the nation makes as much money as the rest of the 99% put together, and where corporate greed has led us to put the very planet itself at risk of being destroyed!!!!

HERE'S TO CHANGE that doesn't just talk the talk!!!!!!

love and peace to all,
laura

End of the Journey, Pt.2 (the real deal)

2008-06-11T17:14:00.008-05:00

View from the road.

SO....why the sudden departure from our fantastic road trip, you may or may not be wondering? Well, here's a few things I learned the last few weeks - much more than I ever expected.

First off, turns out that I get pretty darn nauseous on long car trips, especially on curvy roads, of which there are a lot of along the coast.

Secondly, I learned that I didn't enjoy driving - not because I don't like driving, but Tim doesn't like me driving. Yes, I may be from New York and never owned a car so I'm the less experienced driver....but long road trips are my specialty and I've enjoyed them in the past - alone and with others. But, when I drive with Tim, he turns into my grandmother, reminding me to signal and step on the break and other not-so-helpful hints. He wants to be driving SO badly that he just can't relax, and therefore, I can't relax. To his credit, he got better at it, but I lost all will to fight for my time behind the wheel.

Tim and his current co-pilot, who, truth be told, is a bit of a backseat driver himself.

So, here's the third thing I learned which kinda falls under the "duh" category yet still managed to shock me: Taking a road trip with someone who has already been on a road trip for 10 months is pretty stupid. He's naturally totally sick of all that road trip stuff and has already established his routine of how he wants to do things!

AND, most importantly, I learned that taking a month-long road trip with your boyfriend after you haven't so much as been in the same time zone for many months is also very very stupid.

Taking a road trip is fun and exciting, yes. But it's also one of the most stressful things you can do! It's totally claustrophobic, monotonous and infuriating. It requires one decision after another, one compromise after another....and if your relationship isn't running like a well-oiled machine, you are going to argue. And if you haven't, let's say, been together for 10 months and are maybe holding onto some frustration, anger, and resentment, for example, well then you are really really going to argue. You might even wind up pulling over to the side of the road a few times and threatening to not get back in the car. That's just a hypothetical example, of course...

Look, good times! OUT of the car.

So we did the best we could under unbelievably ridiculous circumstances and we really did have an amazing adventure and saw unforgettable sights. BUT, a relationship that had been as tested as ours needs safe and nurturing circumstances to recover and restore itself. I really didn't want to fly home early and I didn't like the idea of Tim driving the rest of the way home himself but I also really didn't like the idea of staying in that car for another 2 weeks - it was surely going to be the end of us....

So please, wish us luck, and thanks for reading.... And DON'T plan road trips ill-advised. We did take some great pictures though....stay tuned.

End of the journey, Pt. 1

2008-06-10T15:53:00.005-05:00

Sea Lion Caves, somewhere on the central Oregon coast. Not quite as awesome a roadside attraction as the BigFoot Museum, but still pretty darn cool.

So...I'm back in NYC and as much as I really wanted the chance to write about the rest of our cross-country adventure, it just seems impossible in light of recent events -- namely, that i felt compelled to fly home 2 weeks early and not complete the trip, and that Tim and I are dealing with the troubles of re-connecting after such a long time apart....more on all that coming up.

But we did truly see some amazing things and I want to honor it somehow. So, here it is in a nutshell:

The Redwoods:
Hands down, the most beautiful place I've ever seen and my favorite moment of the trip. When you stand in the middle of the forest surrounded by two thousand year old trees the size of apartment buildings, you understand the importance of this earth and the minor blip our lives represent. It made me feel truly grateful and humble about being alive. GO and see them!!

Northern California:
Home to our favorite inn of the trip: The Requa. Beautiful but unpretentious, yummy breakfast, and just the real deal all around. Also the place looks just like the Overlook from the Shining! (which we counted as a major plus, but you might not). Wished we could have stayed there longer!

The Oregon coast:
Rainy as all hell but rivals the California coast for scenery. Incredible jutting rocks! Churning blue surf! AND, what I believe may be the most magnificent, gorgeously perfect spot of earth I've ever been lucky enough to stand on. I'm keeping that location to myself for future reference. But it IS public, so if you've ever been to the Northern Oregon coast and innocently stopped at a rest stop to use the bathroom, you might have stumbled upon it too.

The Shelburne, the prettiest little Inn you've ever seen.

The Washington coast:
More rain, more beauty and the coziest, classiest, most welcoming inn ever with some of THE greatest food I've ever eaten. Who says you can't find gourmet meals at a Bed & Breakfast nowhere near a big city. Them, I will plug -- Shelburne Country Inn near Long Beach Washington. Tell David that Laura and Tim say hello.

See, I said I wasn't going to go on about our travels and then I did!

One more thing - I want to give a special shout-out to the amazing folks in Coeur D'Alene, Idaho. We were hosted by an incredible couple who were fans of Tim's work and his blog and and who were so very generous and lovely to us. Also, their friends -- artists and writers, moms and dads -- who welcomed us so warmly. And a special thank you goes to B: You probably had no idea how much you helped me when you talked about how difficult it was for you when your husband goes away, but for the first time on our road trip, I didn't feel alone with how I was feeling about all of it. And that helped me a great deal.

Well, ok -- so guess I'm writing about all that other stuff in my next post! Thanks for reading.

Love at first sight exists.

2008-06-03T12:38:00.009-05:00

Stars Hollow, somewhere in TV-land

Mendocino, CA - the real deal.

Close your eyes, click your heels three times, and repeat after me, "there's no place like Mendocino."

Tim and I had planned to camp near Mendocino, but our plans changed, as they are want to do on this trip and we only had time to stop there for lunch - or so we thought. We arrived to the town, drove through it completely wide-eyed for 5 minutes, and then simultaneously agreed (in a rare moment of total solidarity) that we absolutely HAD to stay the night and quite possibly, the rest of our lives. You probably think I'm exaggerating, but I assure you, I am not. We immediately changed our reservation at the B&B up North, walked right next door from the cafe where we had an amazing lunch, and got a room at the most perfect cozy inn you've ever seen.

The whole place is pretty much like that - everything you need is at your fingertips -- and by everything you need, I mean incredible organic and delicious locally grown food, organic toiletries and groceries, local art galleries and bookshops on every block, an annual film festival, the greatest chocolate chip cookies known to humankind, and oh right -- the most gorgeous view of the Pacific ocean. The entire town is snuggled low along the cliffs, and you can walk out anywhere -- to beach, to rocks, to flowering meadows, all bordering the soothing aqua blue surf. The air is sweet and cool - not cold - like the most perfect Spring day all the time.

Everyone is friendly - but not too friendly. You have to earn their respect for a few moments, so it doesn't feel too Stepford there. They get a lot of tourists and you can definitely tell the locals from the visitors. The locals are relaxed and happy, young and old, artists, hippies, and weirdos. We felt like locals from the first moment.

And I haven't even mentioned the architecture! Suddenly you are not in California, but a small New England town. There are wooden farmhouses, white picket fences, ducks and geese in yards with overgrown colorful gardens, and these little blue, yellow and white "salt-box" cottages with tiny porches. Adorable, unassuming, and sweet. Like Thornton Wilder come to life. Except you are on the coast of California! There are also these old wooden water towers everywhere, some of which have been converted to tiny homes or guest houses. Strange and homey at the same time, like part lower East Side, part Old West. In fact, that kind of sums up the place pretty well, although there really is no summing it up. You just have to see it.

Now of course we are certainly not the first dewy-eyed couple to fall for Mendocino's abundant charms. It's no accident that there is also a real estate office on every block! But some of the smaller homes are still priced very reasonably (yes, we looked) and the prices at all the stores and restaurants were shockingly cheap -- very atypical of any part of Northern California. There are only local businesses allowed and the entire town is historically preserved. The open land you see will stay open land, the modest Victorians won't become McMansions, and Starbucks won't be moving in anytime soon.

Tim and I kept joking that we'd found the real Stars Hollow. And those of you who don't get that reference can count yourselves deprived. (hint: I've mentioned the show before on this blog and named my car after a character...)

But even more deprived are those of you who will not find a chance to visit Mendocino some time in your life - it is truly a one-of-a-kind homey paradise. And we just might find ourselves living there someday. Just don't tell too many people about it....

Big Sur-tastic

2008-05-31T10:57:00.005-05:00

View from Nepenthe Restaurant, Big Sur, California.

Tim and i have completely abandoned our vacation (and pretty much life itself) for the sake of the Nintendo DS portable system, an ingenious little device which has become a total obsession. We play Brain Games, and it gives you awesome brain quizzes and rewards you with more games the better you do and well, it is pretty much the greatest thing ever invented. OK, so we haven't abandoned our trip for it but we do pretty much plan our day around when we can play...it only allows you to score results once a day! Oh, damn you, witholding Nintendo!

Ok, enough of that.

We just had an amazing two days driving the GORGEOUS California coast on U.S. 1 from Morro Bay to Big Sur, stopping along the way to marvel at the incredible aqua blue ocean and rolling green hills. These are the kinds of views that truly make you glad you are alive. It is pretty hard to feel anything but invigorated and happy when looking at such sights. Anyone who has never driven the coast -- (and apparently we have some of the best scenery ahead of us as we head North to the Oregon/Washington coasts) -- should make a point of doing so....there is truly nothing like it.

We camped last night in the beautiful campgrounds at Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park, among giant redwoods and enormous birds. Our site was along a river and it was so nice sleeping to the sound of water flowing over the rocks....until it got freakin cold overnight and I had to pee. It sucks being a girl camping sometimes!

We had a lovely breakfast at Big Sur Lodge and then made our way to the Henry Miller Library in Big Sur, which is an adorably tiny hippie enclave of books, ping-pong, free coffee, and art. It represents a perfect example of the overall vibe of Big Sur, which is truly a warm and welcoming one. It makes you think perhaps you could abandon all you've ever known and come to live among its tranquility and beauty.

Next we headed to McWay Falls, a sight we learned about from our trusty guidebook. (Shout-out to the folks at Lonely Planet!!) This was one of the most spectacular things I've ever seen. You walk out on this trail along a mountain side and find yourself looking down at a beach far below that is pretty much the image of paradise itself. Clear light blue water, untouched sand, and a giant waterfall set in among the rocks. If there is a heaven, it probably looks a little bit like this place.

Big Sur, folks. Two little words which should really be in your vocabulary and on your list of places to go.

We are currently being very well taken care of in San Francisco by Tim's friends Geoff and Sarah. Chilling in San Fran till tomorrow.

love to all.

On the road at last...

2008-05-28T15:20:00.006-05:00

Petey the Wonder-Dog!

Well, after many tumultuous days spent at my brother's in San Diego - where instead of relaxing, seeing white whales, drinking margaritas, or visiting zoos and water parks as planned, Tim and I spent some - let's call it quality time - "discussing" our time apart and our future together.... Ok, this is a massive understatement and basically represents my avoidance of delving into detail about the hellishness that was the last 3 days. (Dana, I call dibs on writing the play.) Put it this way - we almost broke up, nearly killed the dog and Tim lost one of the best friends he made on his trip. Enough info? I think so...because the point is that this is SO not what this blog is about!! And besides, now we are together, recovering from the madness and happy-ish....and what can one really expect? (Or is that just the jaded New Yorker in me refusing to be stifled by the seemingly endless supply of sun and avocado here in California....)

SO, last night we stayed at a perfectly respectable and slightly overly priced motel just North of Los Angeles, and as for myself, I awoke changed by the miracle of 5 hours sleep -- in a row -- and good water pressure. We're now eating egg n cheese bagel sandwiches at the "New York Style" cafe in Carmelito, CA and are on our way to hike and camp in a State Park in Big Sur. I just did my first freeway drive in the new car, and despite Tim's insistence on reminding me which pedal was which, I think I did alright. I'm not quite used to the new car, or driving on the freeway, but I didn't hit anything so I score that a success, no?

More soon!!