That little lady ain't no walking baby factory.

I thought this was going to be more fun....

Ahhhh....the hometown dates episode, where we get to see what's really going on in the hearts and minds of America's families and learn that apparently, you can cook and eat dinner at a hair salon. Who knew? Did that strike anyone else as extremely unappetizing??

Anyway, so the show opened with a lovely replay of dear Hillary's mental breakdown and for once, I agreed with them -- that was worth taking another look at! We also opened with a shower shot of Brad which didn't last nearly long enough. I mean, with all the camera time given to those girls in their bikinis?


Jenni, will you accept this rose...and stop wearing hoop earrings?

So first Brad flew to Wichita to see where Jenni got her start as a semi-professional dancer and discover that, perhaps, they don't have much to talk about! Their conversation seemed sort of forced to me when they were at that theatre. Maybe, besides kissing, there isn't that much else there. Sometimes good chemistry doesn't mean you're in love! And they're not. Not that they might not be someday. But long-distance?? Not likely! Don't get me wrong. I think it's very cool that she has something she's passionate about other than him. And that she actually puts that something before a relationship. She actually sets an example rarely seen on this show - of a woman with more than marriage on her mind. That said....I don't think they have a shot long distance.

So, I know I should talk about Jenni's Grandma and her wacky comments, but really, it's too easy and I think this week's title says it all.


Don't worry, you're still someone's ONE....

Throughout the whole episode, they kept showing teasers of Sheena's mom "blowing Brad's mind" with her kooky new-age routine and I was sure they were blowing it way out of proportion. I was wrong. That woman was a few tarot cards short of a deck. She was truly frightening. And Brad's face was absolutely priceless when he was listening to her go on and on about the stars and his eyes and all that. I would love to see the outtakes of his interview about that hometown date!! Like maybe him saying that Sheena's mom was clearly a total loon who didn't have a clue about what was really going on with her daughter. Brad and Sheena have NO chemistry -- it's so obvious.


I think we have a match. I give them six months.

Ok, so on to DeAnna and those fabulous Georgia accents! I just love them! And she came to meet him with a basket of peaches! It was adorable. She truly is adorable. Wow, I think I have a little crush on DeAnna. I guess I've found my favorite. I thought Brad fit right in with her family, even if he did refer to them as a big fat Greek stereotype. And, he also used that same line about "I don't meet people like your daughter often..." I love that he said that about more than one girl -- kind of makes it a lie, no? But we'll forgive him that because he was nervous and he's polite, and gosh darnit, the man did three shots of uzo and didn't flinch.


Not for long....

Well, so let's finally get to my favorite hometown date. You know, the one that went really really badly. And correct me if I'm wrong, Bachelor fans, but that has to be the worst reception I've ever seen a family give one of these guys. Sure, we've had religious types get uppity, and overprotective fathers pull out firearms -- but this was the worst display of openly hostile, unwelcome snobbery that I've ever seen! It would be nice if he had a PhD?? Really, that's how you determine the value of someone your daughter is dating? Sure, it would be worse to judge someone based on money, but to assume he's unworthy because he had only one semester of college and then made millions owning his own business is just closed-minded and stupid. And then, for her father to actually say that her first husband was so wonderful when obviously, his daughter didn't think so! How's that for supporting your child's decisions?? Her family was thoroughly disrespectful. I don't care what your opinion is about the stupid reality show. They never gave the guy a chance. And good for Brad for saying so. When he said, "I'm intelligent enough not to judge people," I stood in my living room and cheered.

So I think that the only reason that Bettina didn't get sent home was that he only had to get rid of one person and that had to be Sheena, because there was nothing between them. (despite her delusions to the contrary). Poor Brad has had more mascara dripped on his shoulder....

So, in my opinion, DeAnna and Jenni will undoubtedly be the last two standing.

See you next week when I think Brad's less attractive twin makes another appearance....