I'm in freaking love!
Well, let me be the first to say that I have been totally wrong for weeks. I really didn't think all the rumors had any credibility and it just seemed so clear to me that Bevin was the one. But shame on me - I underestimated something SO obvious, which is that men love a challenge. The whole time that Andy was happy, confident, and relaxed while he was smooching on Bevin, he was doing cartwheels to get Tessa to stay and to be the one. Hindsight is, of course, a wonderful thing. But now I can see how much he struggled with Tessa's reluctance to express herself, and how it just kept engaging him that much further. So that when the payoff finally came and she relinquished her heart after so many weeks of holding back, what man could resist? I'm not saying he doesn't truly love her, but it's hard to judge anything that happens in a process that is as forced as this. And don't get me wrong - if you've been reading my blogs, you know that Tessa has been far and away my favorite from the beginning -- just not my favorite to win. I fell in for the fact that Andy and Bevin had the easy chemistry that they did, and gave that more credit than man's need to pursue and conquer. Did Bevin make a mistake by being so forthcoming? Of course not! In the real world, she wouldn't have been competing with another girl! (I mean, let's hope not.)
Stoic and strong when most of us would be blubbering like babies...
While I feel terrible for Bevin, can we just say for a moment how freaking (to use Andy's favorite word) strong that girl was?? She seriously did not say ONE word once she knew she was going. She held her head up, blinked the tears back, and didn't give him one iota of sobbing or begging satisfaction. He even was driven to ask her, "Is there anything you want to say?" Why do guys love to feel like the bad guy? Haven't we all been dumped by that guy who says, "I know you probably hate me now." Somehow it just gives them even more power to feel like they had that much of an impact on someone. Well, NO, you jerk, I don't have anything to say - you just dumped my ass after telling me you loved me!! I just give her so much credit for how amazing she was last night because the inclination to ask him for explanation had to be SO strong. I have so much respect for how she kept it together. She is a strong, beautiful woman who deserves to come back as the next Bachelorette, don't we think?
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's talk a little bit more about last night's episode. By the way, this was the first time that I watched the show in "real time" (I'm a DVR queen) and what is the deal with the commercials every five freaking minutes?? It was excruciating!!
What passes for nightlife in Lancaster.
Anyway, Andy took each girl home to Amish country last night, where the girls met his parents, sister, and his impressively lucid grandparents. Looking back on it, Bevin probably lost the final rose the moment Andy's mom looked at Tessa and literally gasped at her beauty. Right then, Andy started picturing his mom babysitting for those gorgeous grandchildren and it was all over. But, Tessa's sincerity was just so clear. She was nervous, she was hesitant, she was soft-spoken and they just loved her anyway. Like I've said from the beginning, her reaction to this whole experience just seems so much more normal than anyone else's. It's totally insane to be meeting your boyfriend's family when you've only been dating a few weeks. And it's utterly NUTS that you're meeting them knowing they are going to meet another girl he's also dating shortly after you leave! It truly is a testament to Tessa's feelings for Andy that she stayed in this process when she seemed to be the only one aware that the whole thing is crazy.
Even after all that kissing, she got the kiss-off.
Bevin, in her way, may just be more adaptable or mature. Because she took to this whole thing with a great attitude - to compete and win and never look back. And here's this fascinating, unusual girl with her unique background and past, seeming utterly at home sitting in Andy's parents' Amish-country living room, complete with generic paintings of clowns and grazing cows. As if she'd known them forever...well, she had Grandma convinced, for one. I think Grandma is the one we should worry about now, because I think she fell for Bevin hard.
But Grandpa knew Tessa was the one. He leapt to her defense and pointed out that not everyone wears their emotions on their sleeves. He was clearly pulling for Tessa, but maybe it was because, as he creepily pointed out to his grandson, "she would've appealed to me." Yuck. Actually, maybe it was grosser when he told the whole family that Bevin clearly turned on Andy. Shouldn't those grandparents be asleep by now?
So then we get to the final dates and unbelievably, Andy told both girls he loved them!! I don't think in Bachelor history, a guy has ever admitted to feelings like that before the final rose. And for him to do it with BOTH girls?? I was shocked. He even told us that when Bevin said she loved him, it was the best moment of the entire journey for him. It seemed to me -- and maybe it's all just editing manipulation -- that he was truly unsure about what he was going to do. I think he truly loved both girls, but was more IN love with Tessa. How cruel. And how strange that he could let himself feel so much for both of them. At least in the past, the guys never give any acknowledgment of their feelings till they are finally proposing and finally, they can say how they feel. But Andy was using the L-word all over the place! To quote him, he said "I'm in freaking love" to Bevin. He also said, "I love you too, Bev. I really do." Then he told her, "I think I'm in love." A mere few hours later, he told Tessa, "I freaking love you!!" What's with that? Not just the over-use of "freakin" but dropping L-bombs all over the place, when he knows he's going to be dumping one of them the next day?
But, don't you think THIS is the one?
And let's just say one quick word about that ridiculous "ring selection" process. Now I know I'm in the minority here as a girl fairly indifferent to diamond rings, but do we really need to see him go to the store to pick one out? Especially with this pretense that he even has a choice? Would you like any of these 12 rings in these tiny identical black boxes -OR, would you like this perfectly magical ring that I will dramatically reveal to you by opening this giant wooden box? Well, of course he picked that one! He had to, didn't he? I didn't care about any of them, but even I said, Ooooh - pick that one! Besides, that's the one ABC paid for, buddy. This whole idea of picking a ring with the input of producers is gross. And even grosser is buying a ring when you're not sure exactly who you're going to propose to!! Nuf said.
True love, reality style.
So, was Andy truly undecided or did he know all along? If Tessa hadn't been able to express her love for him, would he have picked Bevin? Was it that close for him? I don't know what's worse! If he knew all along he wanted Tessa or if he was that close to being in love with both of them. I mean, he told Bevin that Tessa had touched his heart deeper. When he proposed to Tessa, he told her, "you've got my heart." What happened to the part of his heart that was touched by Bevin? I don't know, but I think the happy couple have their work cut out for them. One of the reasons I was saying all along that Bevin seemed more right for Andy was because she was so ready for anything when it came to this process. She was 100% in it, and I believe that if it had gone the other way, there's no doubt in my mind that a wedding would actually happen. In this case, I'm not convinced. I don't know if Tessa is really ready for all of that. Never mind just suddenly being engaged and thinking about babies, but doing all of that in the media spotlight? I'm not so sure she wants that. Like all of the Bachelor engagements we've seen in the past, this one may have a shelf-life of about six months too. I truly hope not, because they are both great people and I know for Andy especially, it would be hard to have the process be a failure after he committed to it so fully. But time will tell -- will there be little half Andy/half Tessa babies running around? It would be a first for the Bachelor.
Don't forget to tune in tonight to this season's version of the Women-Tell-All special. This time around, we get to talk to the engaged couple AND see all the rejected ladies humiliate themselves demanding explanations from Andy. Will Amber cry? Will crazy-Stephanie embarrass herself? Will Bevin speak to Andy? I think yes, on all three counts, and I, for one, wouldn't miss it.
posted by Laura Roemer at
7:04 AM
5 Comments:
What I think is telling is the words that Bevin said in the limo..."This happens to me all the time, this is the story of my life."
Deep down Bevin knew she would not be picked. I do think that it was not fair for Andy to try to make her feel better by telling her he loved her. I think that he just is such a caring guy that he could not just let her say that and say nothing.
Tessa and Andy truly seemed to be laughing and goofy in each other's presence. My husband and I do that all the time. Truly stupid stuff just cracks us up. The killer to the relationship may just be watching the show (for Tessa) and seeing just what Andy said and did.
Hmmm. I guess Bevin fans will be sad and Tessa fans will be happy. I'm not about to put down one woman to lift up the other. I liked them both. In my opinion, and editing probably had a lot to do with it, Bevin was the better match. In the end, Roemer, I agree with you...he would have picked Bevin had Tessa not dropped the L bomb. It really did seem like he was going to choose Bevin until Tessa said she was faling in love with him. I wouldn't want to be chosen simply based on that.
I ended up not liking Andy because of the way he treated Bevin. All that kissing and I love you's just to tell her he was dumping her? How can any one consider that caring? You don't tell some one you love them just because they say it to you and you don't want to hurt their feelings. That doesn't make Andy "caring," that makes him a jerk! And then to turn around a short time later and be so happy and laughing with Tessa? Not nice. It just made all the tears he shed over saying good-bye to Bevin seem phoney. Bevin can do better. She's a beautiful, intelligent free spirit. I don't think being a "Navy wife" would suit her, nor do I think it will suit Tessa. I felt horrible for Bevin and I think she handled being dumped with class and dignity. I'm glad she didn't say anything to him. Why should she speak to him, he just told her he loved her and dumped her? Obviously what ever she might have to say didn't really matter to him.
Roemer, right on the money again about the fake ass picking out the ring scenes.
This was my first Bachelor show and my last. How would any one feel watching the show and seeing how their new fiance/e acted with all the other contestants? I don't think Tessa and Andy will last any longer than the participants of the previous editions of the show. They don't really know each other or what life would be like with each other. Tessa won, but how sure can she be that she really wants the prize?
Tessa was my favorite from the first episode, for various reasons, one of which was that she's from my area (but so is Bevin) but mostly since she seemed so natural, with expressing her doubts that she got into the process in the first place. On the part that we saw.
I figured, after watching some of these things over the years (giving up after Jen S. bagged the whole process, and I figured Byron and Mary were the best "The Bachelor" would ever get), that I would give it One More Chance after seeing Andy on "The View" right before this series started, and noting that his background was so much different from other Bachelors.
I also figured (especially after the Vegas date when Andy chose Tessa over Peyton and they were in the helicopter together) AND their one-on-one-date with all the jewels AND when he talked Tessa into staying when she wanted to leave as she wasn't "with the reality TV routine" as Bevin and the others were, that they MUST have had opportunities to talk about how she didn't like the process and that he was paying attention as he expressed on The View how he got into it in the first place.
The woman is smart. She's 26, with a Master's Degree. Yet, every time the cameras came on, she could not string a sentence together without "like" being every 5th word. It was so awkward.
Andy is smart also. He didn't buy the games Kate and Stephanie were playing, ratting on the others. Tessa never did anything like that, yet Bevin was on camera in some length complaining how immature others (Amber) were and begging for his attention with her injury. She made me sick.
With those two (Tessa and Andy)having an opportunity to talk without the camera on them (which they do for some hours when they have private dates), and what we already saw, I gave Tessa a 99% chance.
I think there is a good chance those two will spend the rest of their lives together. Sure helps that their two sets of parents live so close to each other.
To me (personal tastes), Bevin was unattractive and never did a decent job with her hair or her clothing, during the rose ceremonies. She always seemed awkward in the formal settings, though very open in the casual settings. Tessa always looked wonderful, and very comfortable and adaptable in both settings.
Anyone who has spent a lot of time in the area Andy was raised AND who understands military tradition and the commitment one (ie: Andy) has made would understand why he chose Tessa. My son is career highly-trained USMC and Andy reminds me so much of my son (skilled, committed, handsome, directed and much more), though Andy is younger. He (my son) would never choose Bevin, and I didn't think Andy would either, after seeing through some other silliness on the part of other women, and begging Tessa to stay. Bevin seemed fake (like she was reading a script) and those tattoos (and messy appearance) do not go over with well-polished military officers.
I was afraid Andy would disappoint me but he didn't. When he talked about "the love of his life" on "The View" right before the series started, I just saw Tessa the whole time. Bevin didn't match his description at all.
Best wishes to both of them. I'll be rooting for them. Hope they can stay out of the public eye and have their own lives. Andy's grandpa was incredible - so additive. What a sharp, intuitive fellow. Tells you something about the grandson, especially when hearing that he hadn't brought a woman home to meet his family for 8 years.
Forgot to mention in my post above (#3 anonymous....can't figure out how to edit it) for anyone who didn't know --- Andy said he put down certain criteria prior to agreeing to be on the show. The women had to know WHO he was prior to the show, and they had to know that he was committed to being a career Naval Officer, and any woman who signed up for the show needed to agree to that and know she would have to move.
I think those two are much more solid and mature than previous Bachelor couples, in addition to Byron and Mary of course. They were older when they met. Anyone know when they're getting married? Supposed to be this year sometime.
Thanks so much to all of you for reading and sending such great comments!! I'm about to watch the final installment of this Bachelor! You all have some great insights - It's true that Bevin's wall of strength finally did break down in the limo when she gave in to self-pity...but the fact that she avoided that pitfall for as long as she did, and that she never showed that weakness to Andy gave me immense respect for the woman.
I do think Tessa is a phenomenal woman and there were some good points made about Bevin possibly not being right for Navy-wife status. But I also agree that neither of the girls were ready for that. And that Tessa, much more than Bevin, is unprepared for the gauntlet that lays before her with this public relationship, AND as you guys so astutely pointed out, having now just watched her boyfriend declaring his love for the other woman up till the last moment!! And yes, that was truly tacky of Andy. I actually think he felt something like love for Bevin but I think he should have kept it close to the vest with both of them. Okay - stay tuned for my last post on this season's Bachelor after tonight's special!
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