Women that race cars are sexy.

Hey everyone - i apologize for the late posting....i found it hard to tear myself away from the Virginia Tech news this week and frankly, difficult to get in the mood for my favorite escapist drama, the Bachelor. But last night i finally managed and well, it felt good! It's important to be in touch with what's going on in the world and to never lose sight of how important that is, BUT i also believe it is important to remember what makes us feel good and to allow ourselves joy even in a time of grieving. Wow, give it a rest, Laura - it's a blog about reality tv, not Oprah. End of diatribe.

Andy, Andy, Andy....how do i love thee? Let me count the ways. One - you got rid of the green-haired Barbie doll finally. Two - you teared up when you had to let Peyton go. And Three - well, you look hot with mud all over you.


I heart Tessa.

I am dedicating this week's column to my favorite girl who just becomes more and more the front-runner in my eyes every week: Tessa. This girl is so gorgeous, but that's besides the point. She is so honest and real! And on a genre that calls itself "reality" tv, let me tell you, you can spot the actual real people pretty easily. Let's talk about Peyton, for example, dear sweet Sorority Queen Peyton. She told Andy that she was "crazy" about him! This was technically their first date!! If this was "reality," would any woman EVER say that, or even believe that she felt that way. I believe that she thought she was crazy about him, but how could she really be?? I believe in attraction at first sight, even an instant chemical connection, but "CRAZY?" I don't think so. She also told us that she was afraid of leaving with a "broken heart." Now isn't this just insulting to those of us who have actually suffered a true broken heart?? You know - a used tissues all over the bed, eyes burning from crying, empty twinkies box kind of broken heart?? She hardly knows this man yet she has given in to the reality tv show madness of believing that she should feel that way...which brings me to Tessa, who openly tells Andy how ambivalent she is about this whole bizarre experience. How it's not cool to live with the same girls your man is dating!! How she only remembers that she even wants to be there when she's alone with him! These are SANE reactions! And god bless him, Andy gets it. In fact, Tessa is the first girl who he has made the first move-in for the kiss. Yay Tessa.


Peyton and Tessa share.

My favorite moment by far of the show was Andy's downright creepy tour of the abandoned aircraft carrier. He wanted to show Tessa and Peyton where he works and what it's like to be on a ship and all that....okay, fine but what the heck was with that operating room scene?? Were those real people standing in a frozen tableau as if they were really operating?? Or, were they like weird animatronic disney (hello - ABC!) figures made to look like surgeons?? Is either option not totally freaky?? And then what was with his little "okay, um, so i'm the doctor and you're like 'hi doctor, i don't feel well" routine. Yes, Andy, we know you know how to use a stethoscope! The whole thing was so weird but in the end, still somehow totally endearing because he was trying SO hard to impress them. And it's like, dude - you're a triathalon doctor in the navy with a washboard stomach and your own show!! We like you, we really like you.

Bevin, injured bachelorette.

Anyway, there's more to talk about - let's have a moment of silence for Bevin, the "fallen soldier" who was lucky enough to get off-screen one-on-one time with Andy in the always romantic emergency room. The girls were actually quite jealous of this. And why did she inexplicably receive a watch for her suffering? Was that so she wouldn't sue ABC or that crazy drill sergeant, who i'd bet anything was an actor and not really in the military. Info on this, anyone?

And what about Andy saying about sixteen times that "women that race cars are sexy." As far as i know, there's like only one woman who actually races cars professionally, and while there are probably many amateur racers, is this really such an important feature for him? Um, i can drive - does that count?

Oh, Ken, you're so dreamy.

And finally, let's also have a moment of silence (or cheers - whatever) for the dismissal of Miss Barbie herself, Miss "I'm not prissy" Erin: she of the green hair, wonky eye, and silicone smile. It was her passiveness that supposedly did her in, but since when did utter lack of depth get excused as shyness? I think he saw through it. Alas, psycho Stephanie is still in the game, but reason number five why i love Andy -- he's beginning to question her sincerity. Yeah, ya think?

Her days are numbered.

Next week's column on time folks, i promise. Keep reading.