What am I gonna say. She liked the other guy better.

The Swiderski's?

Well, it's been a week now since Jill and Ed became our new soon-to-be broken-up bachelor couple. But upon some reflection, I've been thinking that maybe they have a little bit more of a chance than some of our past couples. They do seem genuinely crazy about each other. And after all my concerns about Ed's workaholic ways, he did seem to be kind of a changed man about all that. Who knows? Maybe it could last....

It's ok Kip, not getting your way will be good for ya.

One thing I will say is that she absolutely made the right choice in choosing Ed over Kip. It seemed clear to me that Kip, while he definitely had real feelings for Jillian, was not in love with her. Maybe he would have been eventually, but he was pushing himself to try and feel more than he actually did. When she told him that she was in love with someone else, that should have been the most devastating moment of his life. He looked like he just found out he was out of coffee! And especially during the "After the Final Rose" ceremony, I think they rehearsed with him what questions he should ask, because he didn't seem like he had anything he needed to say. The whole thing seemed so forced and rehearsed. He's totally fine!!!!


On the other hand, oh my dear darling Reid. You poor sweet neurotic dear. When I saw him come back on the finale, I just felt so bad for him. I knew it was too late. He's so adorably screwed up, he's like the Woody Allen of reality tv. PLEASE make him the next Bachelor!! Not boring Kip or even more boring Jake!! He's SO cute, funny and REAL.....he just needs to grow up emotionally. And hello!! Now he has!! He acted spontaneously!! He expressed his feelings!! He said I love you!! This is the moment for him!! He just got his heart ripped into a million pieces on national television -- either he becomes a star on the next Bachelor and gets his ego restored by having 25 women worshiping him, or he marries the next ordinary woman he meets back in Philadelphia. How boring would that be!! Bring back Reid!!

So, here's wishing good luck to Jill and Ed. I truly hope they make it - they are way too pretty to be unhappy.

Till next time, folks....thanks for reading!

Let's face it. These guys aren't helping men out.

King of the Douchebags came back to claim his crown!

Sorry for the late post this week, guys. I think I'm still recovering from David, the mayor of Man-Code Village, actually apologizing for his behavior. Of course, he only did so because he was pressured to do so on national television. I don't think he really saw that his behavior was wrong at all. He still totally believes that telling a girl she has a nice ass is appropriate on a date and that men who cry should be tied up and shot. Ahhh.....sexism and macho-ism - Alive and well. It was pretty crazy how the guys were all jumping on Jake. Sure the guy is boring and a little self-deluded, but he's not an asshole like David! That really surprised me. And they were all rushing to defend David most of the time. It was a pretty disgusting display up there. Except for dear, darling Michael, who was the only one who defended Jake and clearly was still nursing a pretty big wound over Jillian. What a sweetie!!

I thought Juan was pretty cool too. I just really feel for those guys who happened to be classy, mature, non-meathead types thrown in with all those other guys. It was like some kind of mob mentality happened in that house, and the frat boys took over and whoever didn't fit in got destroyed. I also thought that Chris Harrison was pretty damn classy, for once not being the objective host, making it pretty clear that he thought David crossed the line. Nice. Well, he knows where his bread is buttered, anyway.

I thought the Wes montage was awesome. Thank goodness they totally mocked the guy - I would have preferred if they didn't give his stupid song any more airtime but they were clearly showing him to be the loser all of "America" now believes him to be, so that was cool. Something tells me his career is not exactly going to be taking off the way he hoped.

Hey guys, what if the three of us see if we can make some magic happen?

So where was Reid? That was very disappointing....I really think that those two still belong together and she doesn't have a shot with the last two guys. I'm sorry, but I really want a shocking surprising finale where Reid returns!!! But I know I'm not going to get it...she's going to pick Kip and they will last about as long as it takes to pick the next Bachelor. And on that subject -- Please DON'T let it be JAKE!!!! I know that people are already pushing for it but he has about as much depth as a plastic kiddie pool!! It will be a horribly boring season!! Uchh....I can already tell they are probably going to go with him. Well, stay tuned folks. Maybe we'll be surprised.

FINALE next week!!!

I'm like, four. I'm like, I like you.

But I really really like you!!!

Alas, Reid, it was not to be. Apparently emotional maturity is more important to Jillian than physical connection. And usually I might agree. But in these circumstances I argue - emotional maturity is something that can develop and grow with time, especially when the feelings and commitment are there. BUT chemistry is either there or it isn't, and it's pretty hard to develop or strengthen if it isn't there from the start. Case in point: Ed. So, in other words, Jilly dear, I think you made a big mistake. You let Ed's tall, dark and handsome-ness blind you to the fact that Reid was an oh-so-moldable and wonderful work in progress who was not only crazy about you, but who you were pretty crazy about yourself! There was a real chance at a future there! You said yourself that he made you feel differently than any of the other guys! And I stand by what I said last week that he is the realest of any of these guys -- far and away more real than Kiptyn, who always sounds to me like he has a staff of writers in his back pocket. And more real than Ed, who is completely kidding himself if he thinks he can really leave his workaholic self behind and suddenly someone who can balance a relationship and work -- he is not going to willingly give that up.

No, my dear, I'm afraid that you let the best chance you had at love go. And granted, it wasn't even that great a chance. Even Reid was an unlikely sure thing. He was skittish and indecisive and pretty much emotionally retarded, BUT he was genuinely honestly about it. And he was totally kooky for you, and the only one there who I think was really thinking past the rose ceremony and the international adventures and imagining how he might build a life with you. So he felt rushed and freaked out? Of course he did? Why do people always forget that this whole thing is absurd!! Every season, people are expected to act like it's perfectly sane to be thinking about marrying someone after 5 minutes and the ones who show that they're nervous about it are labeled commitment-phobes, when really they are reacting sanely to an insane situation.

Oh well - maybe Jillian will pull a Jason and realize in the end that all the guys left are wrong for her and she'll decide -- in the most dramatic episode in Bachelorette history -- that Reid was actually the one for her. Yeah, probably not.

Mr. Fabulous, Jill's likely choice, and soon-to-be heartbreaker.

So as for this week's episode, I don't have much to say except that I trust Kiptyn less and less and I am pretty damn sure he's going to "win." I think he's a guy just having a blast traveling the world, riding the motorcycles and zip-lines, going with the flow of all this adventure and sexyness, but when things get very real and not so glamorous, he's outta there, I have no doubt. Don't get me wrong, I think he's genuinely a very lovely guy and definitely cares about Jillian lots and all that, and I'm sure that he'll dump her in a very sweet, sensitive and loving way. He may even cry.

I have to go take care of some work stuff, but I'll be back in time for the final rose ceremony.

And then there's Ed....oh Ed. This guy is becoming clearer to me now. Can he be more of a boring investment banker dude? I mean, I myself was sort of blinded by his looks when you get past that, you realize he's just kind of this suit-dude who's been working 70-hour weeks for 5 years and partying with a bunch of other dudes in suits. He probably doesn't have the first clue about what it takes to sustain a real relationship. He just seems psyched to be scoring with a hot chick! Wait - I'm sorry - NOT scoring. Now, this was some seriously crazy shit. Like SUPER serious red flag. Jillian, how could you not realize that this was SO not to be ignored?? Because, folks, I'm sorry, but I don't care how tired and sunburned you are, but if you can't get down and dirty in the freakin' FANTASY SUITE in MAUI??? With someone you've supposedly been dying to get down and dirty with for weeks???? Then there is just no way that shit is EVER GOING TO HAPPEN. Because you don't get better than that. Jillian: Run, don't walk! Get the hell out of there! May sound harsh, but there is no way those two will ever work! What was she thinking letting that go?

I think the fact that he said I love you to her was what did her in. That's like crack to single woman in her 30s. I hate to say it, but it's true. Women can still get really goofy when they hear that, totally not realizing that some guys can say "I love you" like they say "please pass the potatoes." I'm not saying that Ed's not sincere, but I thought it seemed a little desperate. I think he pulled out the big guns, knowing that he couldn't pull out the big gun in the bedroom. He knew that's all he had left in his arsenal to win her over!! And she should know better than to let his saying that wipe out all of her other concerns. Sure, she pulled him aside before the rose ceremony because she was supposedly so worried about what happened, but he didn't say anything that addressed the issue at all! He gave her some kind of general explanation that was kind of just like -- "Whatever you're worried about, just don't be." And she felt better after that?? Oh Jillian, and your poor decision making skills....

On that note, I dedicate this column to our dearly departed Michael and Reid, two very great guys who got away. May they find the love they deserve, preferably outside of the reality television world! Hmm....but that might mean I might not know about it. I change my mind - may one of them be the next Bachelor!!

It ain't me dude.

Wes, aka, demon-man who needs no more publicity.

Somehow, the inevitable unveiling of Wes as the asshole he truly is didn't make me nearly as happy as I thought it would. His behavior and attitude was so disgusting that it mostly just made me feel nauseous to see Wes "uncut." He was so smug about how far he had gotten having duped her without an ounce of regret, it just made me feel more embarrassed for her all over again. And why didn't she lay into him more? I really wish she had outed him in front of the other guys. But I have to hand it to her - she has a lot of class and handled him beautifully.

And what about Wes bragging to the other guys about going home and having lots of sex?? So gross!! While they are actually standing there all nervous....that was one of the most sickening displays I've ever witnessed. OK, sure, I laughed my ass off. I mean, you had to. He's ridiculous! He's a joke. It was hilarious to see the three guys standing there, all tense and stiff in their nice suits and there's Wes, in jeans and an un-tucked shirt smirking like an idiot and looking totally guilty. This guy gives new meaning to douchebag. He is king of all douchebags. The ultimate douchebag moment: Jillian is crying having realized the truth, it's clearly over, he's just blown his cover about having a girlfriend when the overnight date-card arrives and he says, "I think we should go for it actually." Wow. You have to hand it to the guy, he's consistent.

I just really hope that ABC doesn't play up this scandal too much and give him the publicity he is so obviously begging for. Let him disappear back to Rat-Dog, Mexico, where they seem to love him so much and let that be the end of it. The man has certainly not earned any fans among women here! And as for country music fans, I don't know any personally, but his music did not seem all that special to me...I think ABC should talk only to Jake and give him the justification he deserves for doing the right thing by Jillian and not let Wes anywhere near anymore cameras - ever. Do I think that's what they'll do? A girl can dream, right? He'll probably get his own freakin' show.


OK, so we have more important things to discuss! Like guys that Jillian might actually end up with!! First of all, how classy was Jillian to turn down the overnight dates?? Well, mostly anyway. Seriously, though, that's the first time I've seen someone do that. Yes, she spent the night with Ed but it seemed legitimately not about sex. I really appreciated that she didn't let the show dictate the progression of her relationships on this issue - because they do so on everything else.

So, where do we stand? I thought it was interesting that Kip was so sure he was the one going home....what was that about? Why was he feeling so vulnerable? Why was he the last name called? Something has shifted there. He does seem to me to be very conservative with his feelings and kind of going with the experience more than always seeming into her. She is starting to worry about this too. She needs to know it's about HER and he seems to be only just beginning to think about that.

Reid's is the one.

I think Reid is adorable, funny and the most real of all the guys. He's not the smoothest guy in the world and I love that about him. He doesn't always know the perfect way to say what he wants to say, but he's trying because he is so genuinely into her. You can see him really falling in love with her, and really trying to talk about it. It's genuine and honest and truly about her. I think they seem like the most real-life couple of any of them. I hope she can see that.

Then there's Ed....oh, Ed. He really is just yummy to look at and I didn't blame the girl for a second for just wanting to make out with him all over Spain. He is striking and dashing in a way that none of the guys are. But all of that doesn't really mean much. Who is the guy in the end? He seems to be a successful workaholic and he's proven that pretty consistently. I believe he's a good guy and that he genuinely has feelings for her and he wants to make this work, but I also believe that in the long haul of a relationship, when things stopped being so new and romantic all the time, that the lure of work would become the priority for him pretty quick. She should not forget those concerns about him, because I think they are pretty valid.

So, my hope is that it comes down to Kip and Reid, because I think they are her best chances at a real relationship. I have a bad feeling that she's going to let Reid go because of this weird concern that they are too different....and because Ed is too hot to let go of. But that would be a big mistake. I'm rooting for Reid all the way, but my money is on Kip making it to the end. Do I think any of these relationships have a chance in hell of lasting after the credits roll? Sadly, probably not. But hey, Jason and Molly are still together, right? Not that he picked her in the first place....

Whatever you people do, do not feed the Wes publicity machine!!

It's Bananas!

Her love for country music is her downfall in more ways than one...

Oh, Jillian....dear, sweet, innocent, stupid stupid stupid Jillian. Can you really really not look at Wes and not see the slime dripping off his skin and the evil in his smile? Have there really not been enough warning signs telling you this is a pretty bad start to a new relationship? What about Jake, the most stand-up guy in the universe coming to tell you that the dude is a lying sack of dog shit - now do you not think maybe it's time to call it a day? Nope. Not our girl. She just sits back, lets herself get manipulated over and over again, and we have sit and watch that weasel as he does it.

Don't get me wrong -- I know it's easy to be watching from my safe objective living room and saying all this. And we've all been fooled by jerks in our day - in our 20s maybe...BUT, I'm also sure that none of us have been simultaneously dating 4 other guys we were pretty damn sure were completely crazy about us at the same time that we were dating the jerk. I mean, she even said, "Do I trust the perfect guy or the bad boy?" Really? There's a question? No one is saying you have to date Jake but the man is practically a superhero. He saves babies and kittens in his spare time - he's not lying. And Wes - uch. That man!!!! Her attraction to him really makes me wonder if she's as together as she seems. Or maybe he just really is that convincing.

The worst part was when we finally met his family (after he manipulated Jillian into it) and it turned out to be a family made up entirely of females. So of course the guy knows how to play women! He grew up in a family full of them!! And there they were, all sitting around, giggling and worshipping Wes, laughing at how all other guys are nothing compared to his greatness. The guy's been convinced he hung the moon from the day he was born so he may not even realize how manipulative he is! Truly scary.

The return of....Ed? Can we get this guy a better name??

But of course many other things happened last night...Holy surprise Ed appearance!! That man is super attractive - he gets more handsome every time I see him and it's kind of surprising. He's just a surprise all around! I was happy for Jillian because I knew she needed the esteem boost after the whole awful Wes vs. Jake humiliation. And she really took Ed's leaving badly. So I'm thrilled he's back in the mix. I just think it's funny that he was all like, "I made a big mistake, I missed you, etc." No, dude - you made sure your job was secure, and you came back! Totally understandable.

Alas, my prediction was correct - no more darling young Michael.

As for the hometown dates, can we just say that Michael is the sweetest, cutest, funnest guy with the sweetest and funnest family? And he is going to make someone soooo happy....eventually. He was just way too young to be settling down just yet. And how adorable that he had too big a crush to even realize it! Oh man, if I didn't already have my man -- and wasn't also Jillian's age, I'd be hopping on the subway to Astoria right now to find the dude.

Reid worried me a little on his hometown date- only because his family was SO shocked to see him be even remotely affectionate with a girl. It made me question him a bit. Is he really being himself with Jillian? Or is it just really the first time he's fallen so hard for someone? I hope that's what it is...

And can we talk a moment about Kiptyn's family? I don't want to offend anyone. Well, that's not necessarily true....but am I the only one who thought they were insanely snobbish and obnoxious? To Kiptyn's credit, I don't see that in him at all -- but is Jillian really going to feel at home in that snooty, wealthy family? The whole thing had a very unpleasant and fake vibe that I thought was the antithesis of all things Jillian and it made me wonder about Kiptyn himself. I just hope she's keeping that in mind and not just thinking about getting in his pants.

The final four - finally.

Going forward, we really are down to the big gun guys -- all the ones she's really genuinely crazy about, which, sadly, very much includes Wes. I think Ed has to do some big time emotional catch-up to make up for all the time he missed. And Reid has to step up emotionally too. Kip seems to be able to do no wrong and can coast on the chemistry that knows no bounds. As for the devil in blue jeans, every week I hope is the week he shows his true colors, but he keeps showing 'em, and she keeps turning her head, so I don't know what has to happen to make her finally leave him rose-less. The thing I'm counting on now is the fact that I really don't think he's really all that into her! So maybe it won't be about him having a girlfriend or being there for the music or any of that crap....it will be that he's not showing enough emotion. And that will be the last straw -- I hope.

Michael - keep dancing.

See you next week guys!

Love doesn't have a job.

Evil incarnate - thy name is Wes. Go back to Chihuahua!!!!

Aaah...nothing like group dating on a high-speed train to make the inevitable finally happen!! Wes was finally revealed as the slimy mercenary we knew him to be -- well, at least to all the guys....while poor Jillian was still left hanging out in the breeze, being openly duped by the guy, and no one said a word to her about it! And, was it me or did Chris Harrison seem to be milking the situation just a little bit too much asking her all those leading questions about him? Anyway, I understand why the guys don't say anything about Wes to her, because who wants to be the guy who talks shit? That guy gets sent home. And speaking of -- finally and WAY overdue -- Tanner got sent home, freakish foot-loving ways and all. You know, again, what's so odd about that guy is not how much he loves women's feet, but the fact that that's pretty much ALL that's interesting about the dude. Wait -- I'm sorry - I stand corrected. Apparently, he's packing quite the johnson in his jock strap. But we SO shouldn't know that. I mean, on this show, you really know a guy A) is getting desperate and B) has a lame personality when the best idea he has under pressure is to take his pants off. (At least he had the good sense to do it indoors as opposed to the dipshit at the beginning of the season so he wasn't, um, poorly misjudged). But, alas, even his manly-sized manhood was not enough to save him from his lack of personality or his obsession with all things podiatric.

My current fave, Reid - is this really the best photo they had??

In other great news, my two faves, Reid and Michael, surged ahead, with Reid showing great promise in his one on one. Yes, he's neurotic. Big deal! As a New York Jew, I find his pet peeves and phobias completely normal and also totally adorable, but Jillian might not find them quite so likable. (By the way, Jillian - who the heck doesn't wash fruit from the grocery store?? That's just crazy.) But I loved her take on him - that he lets his "freak flag" fly and is very comfortable in his own skin. Reid is a totally mature, smart and funny guy and he just knows who he is. We all have our little harmless pecadillos and it's better to know them, and put them out there then to have them fester and surface later in a big scary surprise mess. Also, they have great chemistry and a natural flow together. And I speak from personal experience when I say that it's not about having a common background or a common past - it's about having a common language and a common way of living and dealing with the world that matters and makes a relationship work. Go Reid! Go nerdy obsessive Jew boys!!

Ok - so my team is clear. But I am still a huge Michael fan. I just think his age is becoming more and more of an apparent hindrance. His wit and charm continue to impress but I just don't see him outlasting Kip or Jesse in the romance department. Those guys are just way more smooth and as much as I loved Michael saying he wants to be a "young dad," Jillian and I both know that saying it and doing it are two VERY different things. I'm afraid Michael is not long for this competition.

Can YOU tell them apart??

So, what about Kip and Jesse? And yes, I keep grouping them together because I still can't distinguish one from the other. Yes, I know...Kip is the one that she has the amazing mondo chemistry with and yes, she seems to definitely think she's falling for him...or at least she knows she's ready to do it with him. But she's also got a big ol' crush on Jesse too, and I just feel like I keep seeing the same great sensitive speeches from both of them, "You're so awesome....blah blah blah" But there is just something so generic about them! Like they're great, but what else? What's missing? WHO are they? What do you guys think? I'm stumped.

Poor Jake took the train back to his plane...

And, alas, dear sweet clueless Jake....he went the way of the nice guy, the perfect guy, the born to be the best friend guy. When he told her, "You're a lot like my mom!" Ick. He's the guy who was prom king in high school and has never quite emotionally matured beyond that. Life has to get bigger than that, dude! It was SO hard for him just to tell her his feelings and then it came out, "I really really like you!" In your thirties?? That's how you express yourself? Wow. I mean, a totally incredibly and amazingly nice guy, but he needs to have some deeper life experiences that he can't control - experiences that don't happen up in a plane. He needs to question his beliefs and doubt himself and wonder if maybe he's wrong about some things. Frankly, he could make an amazing candidate for the Bachelor -- he IS totally hot and perfect and so incredibly caring. But he needs some damn charisma. We'll see what happens when he comes back next week - maybe this experience really gave him the jolt he needed to step up and question himself the way he needs to? Maybe they are already grooming him for Bachelor, Season 106. (I have no freakin clue how many we're up to now)

xoxo
Roemer

The first little spark of awesomeness.

Can we get back to eliminating like four at a time of these suckers?

Sorry for the delay on the blog guys. I know...Life before reality? Shame on me!

So is it me or is taking forever to get to the front-runners this time around? I think it's because they started out with way too many guys AND they seem to be eliminating them much slower than usual. I mean, we could have let go of at least 3 or 4 easily last night!! Two guys? Come on already!

Um, in this economy? Call me crazy, but I think a reliable paycheck is a slightly safer bet.

So Ed's leaving to save his job - damn straight he is!! This whole thing is why I should never watch the coming attractions. Because of course they had us thinking that it was all going to come out about Wes and his harem carrying his love child back home....but instead it was a thoroughly boring storyline about Ed's tech-job crisis?? Snooze....I mean, Ed is lovely and handsome and they had some chemistry, but I highly doubt he was going to make it to the top 3. He just didn't have the personality compared to some of these other guys. He definitely made the right decision. I understand her being a little hurt but it's really not fair to ask the guy to give up his JOB for a 1 in 10 shot at what is most likely going to be a 3-month relationship!! I mean, come on!! I think she was crying because she was so used to calling the shots that it felt crappy to have a guy decide they didn't like her enough to stay. It was probably a real blow after being worshipped for weeks - has to make you lose your perspective a bit.

Case in point: Mr. country singer himself. This guy just seems like a total tool to me! Besides the accent and semi-decent looks, I mean what is so amazing about him?? She really has such a thing for this whole Western motif that it is totally blinding her to the fact that Wes is a total smooth lying womanizer!! And I really really hope the truth comes out soon because she looks stupider every week when it comes to him.

I'm starting to develop a bit of a crush on Reid I have to say, but he might go the way of Mark if he doesn't step it up. And my crush on Michael remains strong, but I'm worried he could be a little on the young side. I picked up on some immaturity on their date and that might make him not the one for her...and what was with the kiss on the cheek? He might be heading towards the friend-zone.

The guy to beat?

It's SOOOO past time to say goodbye to Tanner and Robby - and sadly, maybe even Jake. I had high hopes for him, but he's not showing much in the personality department as time goes on. Right now, I think Kip is the man in front. She is positively ga-ga over him and that just might take him to the end. But is it just me who thinks he's got bad hair? Oh well - I can overcome it! Also, he and Jesse are kind of similar right now and I need to see more of both to get a better read on what's happening. Get rid of some of these other distracting losers!!

I'm very excited by next week! Of course, there I go, believing the coming attractions, which made it seem like we were going to be hearing about guys not performing in the bedroom! Wow - that would be a Bachelor first! They usually never even confirm that they have sex! Let's get into the intimacy issues- yes, I love it!!!! Crap, I'm being totally manipulated, aren't I? It's probably not about sex at all....but how great would it be if Wes couldn't get it up?

Till next time....

Roemer