It's Bananas!

Her love for country music is her downfall in more ways than one...

Oh, Jillian....dear, sweet, innocent, stupid stupid stupid Jillian. Can you really really not look at Wes and not see the slime dripping off his skin and the evil in his smile? Have there really not been enough warning signs telling you this is a pretty bad start to a new relationship? What about Jake, the most stand-up guy in the universe coming to tell you that the dude is a lying sack of dog shit - now do you not think maybe it's time to call it a day? Nope. Not our girl. She just sits back, lets herself get manipulated over and over again, and we have sit and watch that weasel as he does it.

Don't get me wrong -- I know it's easy to be watching from my safe objective living room and saying all this. And we've all been fooled by jerks in our day - in our 20s maybe...BUT, I'm also sure that none of us have been simultaneously dating 4 other guys we were pretty damn sure were completely crazy about us at the same time that we were dating the jerk. I mean, she even said, "Do I trust the perfect guy or the bad boy?" Really? There's a question? No one is saying you have to date Jake but the man is practically a superhero. He saves babies and kittens in his spare time - he's not lying. And Wes - uch. That man!!!! Her attraction to him really makes me wonder if she's as together as she seems. Or maybe he just really is that convincing.

The worst part was when we finally met his family (after he manipulated Jillian into it) and it turned out to be a family made up entirely of females. So of course the guy knows how to play women! He grew up in a family full of them!! And there they were, all sitting around, giggling and worshipping Wes, laughing at how all other guys are nothing compared to his greatness. The guy's been convinced he hung the moon from the day he was born so he may not even realize how manipulative he is! Truly scary.

The return of....Ed? Can we get this guy a better name??

But of course many other things happened last night...Holy surprise Ed appearance!! That man is super attractive - he gets more handsome every time I see him and it's kind of surprising. He's just a surprise all around! I was happy for Jillian because I knew she needed the esteem boost after the whole awful Wes vs. Jake humiliation. And she really took Ed's leaving badly. So I'm thrilled he's back in the mix. I just think it's funny that he was all like, "I made a big mistake, I missed you, etc." No, dude - you made sure your job was secure, and you came back! Totally understandable.

Alas, my prediction was correct - no more darling young Michael.

As for the hometown dates, can we just say that Michael is the sweetest, cutest, funnest guy with the sweetest and funnest family? And he is going to make someone soooo happy....eventually. He was just way too young to be settling down just yet. And how adorable that he had too big a crush to even realize it! Oh man, if I didn't already have my man -- and wasn't also Jillian's age, I'd be hopping on the subway to Astoria right now to find the dude.

Reid worried me a little on his hometown date- only because his family was SO shocked to see him be even remotely affectionate with a girl. It made me question him a bit. Is he really being himself with Jillian? Or is it just really the first time he's fallen so hard for someone? I hope that's what it is...

And can we talk a moment about Kiptyn's family? I don't want to offend anyone. Well, that's not necessarily true....but am I the only one who thought they were insanely snobbish and obnoxious? To Kiptyn's credit, I don't see that in him at all -- but is Jillian really going to feel at home in that snooty, wealthy family? The whole thing had a very unpleasant and fake vibe that I thought was the antithesis of all things Jillian and it made me wonder about Kiptyn himself. I just hope she's keeping that in mind and not just thinking about getting in his pants.

The final four - finally.

Going forward, we really are down to the big gun guys -- all the ones she's really genuinely crazy about, which, sadly, very much includes Wes. I think Ed has to do some big time emotional catch-up to make up for all the time he missed. And Reid has to step up emotionally too. Kip seems to be able to do no wrong and can coast on the chemistry that knows no bounds. As for the devil in blue jeans, every week I hope is the week he shows his true colors, but he keeps showing 'em, and she keeps turning her head, so I don't know what has to happen to make her finally leave him rose-less. The thing I'm counting on now is the fact that I really don't think he's really all that into her! So maybe it won't be about him having a girlfriend or being there for the music or any of that crap....it will be that he's not showing enough emotion. And that will be the last straw -- I hope.

Michael - keep dancing.

See you next week guys!

Love doesn't have a job.

Evil incarnate - thy name is Wes. Go back to Chihuahua!!!!

Aaah...nothing like group dating on a high-speed train to make the inevitable finally happen!! Wes was finally revealed as the slimy mercenary we knew him to be -- well, at least to all the guys....while poor Jillian was still left hanging out in the breeze, being openly duped by the guy, and no one said a word to her about it! And, was it me or did Chris Harrison seem to be milking the situation just a little bit too much asking her all those leading questions about him? Anyway, I understand why the guys don't say anything about Wes to her, because who wants to be the guy who talks shit? That guy gets sent home. And speaking of -- finally and WAY overdue -- Tanner got sent home, freakish foot-loving ways and all. You know, again, what's so odd about that guy is not how much he loves women's feet, but the fact that that's pretty much ALL that's interesting about the dude. Wait -- I'm sorry - I stand corrected. Apparently, he's packing quite the johnson in his jock strap. But we SO shouldn't know that. I mean, on this show, you really know a guy A) is getting desperate and B) has a lame personality when the best idea he has under pressure is to take his pants off. (At least he had the good sense to do it indoors as opposed to the dipshit at the beginning of the season so he wasn't, um, poorly misjudged). But, alas, even his manly-sized manhood was not enough to save him from his lack of personality or his obsession with all things podiatric.

My current fave, Reid - is this really the best photo they had??

In other great news, my two faves, Reid and Michael, surged ahead, with Reid showing great promise in his one on one. Yes, he's neurotic. Big deal! As a New York Jew, I find his pet peeves and phobias completely normal and also totally adorable, but Jillian might not find them quite so likable. (By the way, Jillian - who the heck doesn't wash fruit from the grocery store?? That's just crazy.) But I loved her take on him - that he lets his "freak flag" fly and is very comfortable in his own skin. Reid is a totally mature, smart and funny guy and he just knows who he is. We all have our little harmless pecadillos and it's better to know them, and put them out there then to have them fester and surface later in a big scary surprise mess. Also, they have great chemistry and a natural flow together. And I speak from personal experience when I say that it's not about having a common background or a common past - it's about having a common language and a common way of living and dealing with the world that matters and makes a relationship work. Go Reid! Go nerdy obsessive Jew boys!!

Ok - so my team is clear. But I am still a huge Michael fan. I just think his age is becoming more and more of an apparent hindrance. His wit and charm continue to impress but I just don't see him outlasting Kip or Jesse in the romance department. Those guys are just way more smooth and as much as I loved Michael saying he wants to be a "young dad," Jillian and I both know that saying it and doing it are two VERY different things. I'm afraid Michael is not long for this competition.

Can YOU tell them apart??

So, what about Kip and Jesse? And yes, I keep grouping them together because I still can't distinguish one from the other. Yes, I know...Kip is the one that she has the amazing mondo chemistry with and yes, she seems to definitely think she's falling for him...or at least she knows she's ready to do it with him. But she's also got a big ol' crush on Jesse too, and I just feel like I keep seeing the same great sensitive speeches from both of them, "You're so awesome....blah blah blah" But there is just something so generic about them! Like they're great, but what else? What's missing? WHO are they? What do you guys think? I'm stumped.

Poor Jake took the train back to his plane...

And, alas, dear sweet clueless Jake....he went the way of the nice guy, the perfect guy, the born to be the best friend guy. When he told her, "You're a lot like my mom!" Ick. He's the guy who was prom king in high school and has never quite emotionally matured beyond that. Life has to get bigger than that, dude! It was SO hard for him just to tell her his feelings and then it came out, "I really really like you!" In your thirties?? That's how you express yourself? Wow. I mean, a totally incredibly and amazingly nice guy, but he needs to have some deeper life experiences that he can't control - experiences that don't happen up in a plane. He needs to question his beliefs and doubt himself and wonder if maybe he's wrong about some things. Frankly, he could make an amazing candidate for the Bachelor -- he IS totally hot and perfect and so incredibly caring. But he needs some damn charisma. We'll see what happens when he comes back next week - maybe this experience really gave him the jolt he needed to step up and question himself the way he needs to? Maybe they are already grooming him for Bachelor, Season 106. (I have no freakin clue how many we're up to now)

xoxo
Roemer

The first little spark of awesomeness.

Can we get back to eliminating like four at a time of these suckers?

Sorry for the delay on the blog guys. I know...Life before reality? Shame on me!

So is it me or is taking forever to get to the front-runners this time around? I think it's because they started out with way too many guys AND they seem to be eliminating them much slower than usual. I mean, we could have let go of at least 3 or 4 easily last night!! Two guys? Come on already!

Um, in this economy? Call me crazy, but I think a reliable paycheck is a slightly safer bet.

So Ed's leaving to save his job - damn straight he is!! This whole thing is why I should never watch the coming attractions. Because of course they had us thinking that it was all going to come out about Wes and his harem carrying his love child back home....but instead it was a thoroughly boring storyline about Ed's tech-job crisis?? Snooze....I mean, Ed is lovely and handsome and they had some chemistry, but I highly doubt he was going to make it to the top 3. He just didn't have the personality compared to some of these other guys. He definitely made the right decision. I understand her being a little hurt but it's really not fair to ask the guy to give up his JOB for a 1 in 10 shot at what is most likely going to be a 3-month relationship!! I mean, come on!! I think she was crying because she was so used to calling the shots that it felt crappy to have a guy decide they didn't like her enough to stay. It was probably a real blow after being worshipped for weeks - has to make you lose your perspective a bit.

Case in point: Mr. country singer himself. This guy just seems like a total tool to me! Besides the accent and semi-decent looks, I mean what is so amazing about him?? She really has such a thing for this whole Western motif that it is totally blinding her to the fact that Wes is a total smooth lying womanizer!! And I really really hope the truth comes out soon because she looks stupider every week when it comes to him.

I'm starting to develop a bit of a crush on Reid I have to say, but he might go the way of Mark if he doesn't step it up. And my crush on Michael remains strong, but I'm worried he could be a little on the young side. I picked up on some immaturity on their date and that might make him not the one for her...and what was with the kiss on the cheek? He might be heading towards the friend-zone.

The guy to beat?

It's SOOOO past time to say goodbye to Tanner and Robby - and sadly, maybe even Jake. I had high hopes for him, but he's not showing much in the personality department as time goes on. Right now, I think Kip is the man in front. She is positively ga-ga over him and that just might take him to the end. But is it just me who thinks he's got bad hair? Oh well - I can overcome it! Also, he and Jesse are kind of similar right now and I need to see more of both to get a better read on what's happening. Get rid of some of these other distracting losers!!

I'm very excited by next week! Of course, there I go, believing the coming attractions, which made it seem like we were going to be hearing about guys not performing in the bedroom! Wow - that would be a Bachelor first! They usually never even confirm that they have sex! Let's get into the intimacy issues- yes, I love it!!!! Crap, I'm being totally manipulated, aren't I? It's probably not about sex at all....but how great would it be if Wes couldn't get it up?

Till next time....

Roemer

I would have never gone in for a kiss right now if everybody else hasn't already kissed you and I feel like if I didn't then I'm not gonna get a rose.

Why did Jillian send me home when I know she likes me the best? I'm so confused....

I want to dedicate this post to all the dumb -- can i just say it? -- douchebags like David who have absolutely NO idea who they are OR what women want, need, or think. I know of course that there are other people out there who need our help much more than these poor pathetic losers, but surely someone has an extra million lying around to dedicate to educating these poor misinformed gentleman?

Then again....I think we can agree that David's 3 minutes with Jillian tonight was some of the worst (and funniest) "moves" any one drunken idiot has attempted to lay on a woman ever captured on film? Alright, maybe that's some Bachelorette-style exaggeration, but still, it was a privileged to witness. He actually thought that she was playing hard to get!! He made a comment about her "tits hanging out" -- and then went in for a kiss!!! Oh, it was priceless. And this guy is all about a "man code?" What about a code of decency, dude? What about respect? You know, if it wasn't so gosh darned hilarious, I might actually be offended by the guy.

Hey, maybe I can catch a ride home with David?

So in the stunner of the evening, Juan got the boot along with Douchebag Dave. Somehow, crazy foot-loving Tanner just keeps hanging on! I think someone made a comment about producer intervention when it comes to this guy, and it's starting to seem like that to me too. They must be hoping he's gonna start sucking on her toes and they smell ratings gold....Because I just don't see ANY chemistry between those two. And we all know that the guy who rats out the other guys usually gets sent home! But I guess Jillian's suspicions of Juan just weren't sitting right with her and the accusations were too much to handle. And Wes has got her completely fooled. I can't wait till he gets exposed for the slick womanizing liar he really is.

Shy is alright, but it helps to be hot.

What's amazing about a show like this is it really shows you how attraction totally screws up our brains. Take the two-on-one date for example. Jillian really wasn't super attracted to Mike, that was obvious, so she could very clearly see that all his big talk was just that - talk. BUT - if she was really into him, he might have come off like the greatest guy ever with all that pretty-sounding bullshit he was spouting. Of course, it's also true that when you have natural chemistry with someone, you don't have to work so hard....so maybe that's why Mike came off like such a forced fake? But see - this is why I really loved Mark. (Although, he's pretty damn cute...so maybe MY brain isn't to be trusted on this!) But I really appreciated that he was just himself: which happened to be a slightly shy, soft-spoken guy with a dry sense of humor. He didn't TRY to be the guy he thought she'd like - he was just himself and let that be enough. And it was. I was SO happy and proud of Jillian for really getting him - and seeing through Mike's song and dance.

Look!! My eyes perfectly match my shirt!!

Lastly, a note to Jake - if people close to you keep telling you you're "too perfect," this is not a sign that everyone else is an idiot. This is a sign that that you have more work to do on yourself. I know it's hard to see the logic in that. But people are not perfect - they can't be. In fact, if you seem like you're perfect, you eventually freak other people out, because they know that you must be burying your shit really deep. And if the shit has to be buried down that deep, then it must be some really BAD shit. Now I'm not saying that's this is what is actually happening with you, only that it's partly the reason women are eventually repelled by you. You've gotta dig deeper man - flaws are what make us beautiful and real and who we are. Otherwise, we'd be freakin' mannequins.

That's all for now....Really looking forward to next week when the very cute, funny and charming Michael finally gets some one-on-one time!

Till then, write me.
Roemer

Looking for that mythical unicorn.

Has anyone seen Jillian?

So...in tonight's (ugh) Western-themed episode, (anyone else completely sick of the Western theme?) we certainly found out who the good, the bad, and the ugly were. David is obviously a psycho who needs anger management and quite possibly medication. Sure, Juan might be a little too cool for school, but does he deserve to be strung up? I don't think so. Why is David so mad at Juan anyway? Why not be mad at Wes, who so obviously has another agenda for being there? I don't understand it.

Sent home while foot-lover and crazy-eyes live on.

I guess I also don't understand what Jillian IS really looking for (not to sound like all the guys now) but she got rid of Sasha? Sure, I had some initial concerns about him, but he could not have been more lovely to her on their date, and he opened up more than I've seen any of these other guys do yet. (a note to Wes and to Jillian: singing a song you wrote over and over is actually NOT the same as opening up). Sasha expressed himself way more than Ed did, who got a rose, although he was actually very shy and held back. Sure, Ed was sweet and I really liked him, but Jillian had to force information out of him. And here's poor Sasha, telling her his most personal story, which she said really meant a lot to her, but she got rid of him because he never got his heart broken. So what?? If that's such a deal-breaker for her, why doesn't she ask every every guy that question? AND, it's bullshit anyway, because she knows for a fact that Kip has also never had his heart broken. But she decided that their great chemistry was more important. So what was it really about Sasha?

I don't get it. A smart, mature, beautiful man like that is gone while we still have guys like good ol' "having a foot fetish makes me special" Tanner P. hanging around?? That guy is clearly just a very otherwise boring guy who has only one interesting thing going for him. He just doesn't seem to realize that the one thing he has going for him happens to make him creepy and gross.

Secretly in love with Juan?

And I just have to say it again -- this whole David thing freaks me out. The man is clearly NOT WELL!! He's absolutely fixated on Juan way more than Jillian!! And did anyone else notice that his left eye kept twitching while he talked about it? It's amazing to me that he hasn't decked someone already. And yet, the other guys seem to be standing by him! What am I missing? Has Juan been murdering puppies off-screen without our knowledge? What exactly are his offenses, besides not doing a stupid shot with the guys?

Oh, if only I was born when women were only prostitutes and farm-wives!

Anyway, the other important thing about the episode was that I was really happy about was Jillian's date with Ed - not because Ed seems like he could be a great guy for her, but because of the date. Finally!! She wasn't posing on top of a car, or playing the damsel in distress -- she was climbing down a building in the middle of downtown L.A. Thank you -- Now I remember why I liked this girl -- She's fearless and awesome!! She threw herself off that building like she'd been doing it all her life!! That's more like it, Jillian. Can you PLEASE get over your Western petticoat fantasy bullshit and have more real dates!! Or at least ones where you get to kick ass? You are a strong woman who doesn't need to be rescued!!!

Predictions for next week:
1. David's true colors come out and he gets the axe (please?)
2. Wes adds a second line to his stupid song
3. Tanner P. gets drunk and talks about feet
4. We find out something about the mysterious and very cute Mark...

COMMENTS? QUESTIONS? TIRADES?

Write me!

-Roemer

It's Man Code

Gillian, blinded by man worship.

Hi all! First of all -- a shout-out to my friends in Northern California! Nice to know I have a following there! Can't wait to come back there for a visit!

OK - so down to business. Credit goes to all of you guys who caught my (ahem) uncharacteristic mistake about foot fetish guy, who is indeed alive and well and very much still in the game. I think I must have been so overwhelmed by the enormous gang of lunkhead crazies they gathered for this season that I was dizzy and lost my way....but yes, my mistake.

So once again, our girl won me over by starting this week's episode talking about how she's not your typical "big boob model" type (Trista fans - pay attention) but I have to say that overall, I found Gillian kind of a disappointment this week. Granted, I know I'm being kind of ridiculous, trying to hold her to an unrealistic feminist standard that is completely non-existent in the world of a reality tv dating show -- but I don't care!!!! I feel a little betrayed.

When she was dating Jason last season, she was so independent and spunky and smart. But now, she's all "I always fall for the bad guy" and I can't drive because "Ha Ha I'm a girl!" and the one that really made me gag on my cheerios, I really think he can "take care of me." Ach!!! What's happening to her?? Is the experience of being totally worshipped and lusted after by 20 hot guys just making her totally nuts? Wait a minute....Now that I say it, now that I think about it....that might honestly make me a little insane too. Or anyone insane! Ok fine. I'm going to grant dear Gillian, who I've loved in the past, a diagnosis of temporary insanity, and hope that as the number of guys dwindle, her sense and strength will return.

David, he of the crazy eyes and man code of stupidity.

So, as for tonight's show, there really isn't too much to say. Car races, bank vaults and the Harlem Globetrotters. I don't think the producers know what to do with this many guys either! But here's what I think we learned that was most important: Wes and David are very clearly both bad news. Wes is your basic self-involved asshole, plain and simple. And David is just dumb, violent and scary! "Let's tie him to a tree!" Really?? You're that pissed at Juan for not being a jocky testosterone-soaked freak like you? Wow. He and his "man-code" need to GO.

Me likey.

The other very clear thing -- and it was already clear to me last week -- is that Jake is positively aces. And tonight, I think I fell a little bit in love with the guy. That was a pretty lovely date they had and perhaps the other guys should all just go home right now. Except that I have a big old crush on Michael, who I really hope sticks around a while.

Otherwise, there is the Juan question, and while I certainly don't think he's the devil like David does, I don't entirely trust him either. He seems a bit rehearsed, but also sometimes genuine and sweet. Too soon to tell. And then there are some other guys who we just don't know well enough yet but who seem like they could be pretty cool - Reid, Robby, Kiptyn, Ed....

Awesome! Now that I showed her my wiener, I'm sure to get a rose!!

But with all the disappointments and weirdness and unnecessary basketball that was last night's episode, there was ONE very very happy moment which made it all worthwhile....and you know what I'm talking about. Good ol' "hey there little hottie" Brian, the hick idiot extraordinaire, decided to take all his clothes off and jump in the pool because that was all his little tiny brain (and apparently that's not all that was little and tiny) could come up with to get Gillian's attention. And yes, she finally sent him home. And probably not because of he did that, but because he's a hick idiot. So, his humiliating send-off was just gravy.

Here's to less gimmicks and less guys next week.

Looking for Mr. Invisible

Wonder woman.

Can we just say that we love her?!! A woman who openly says that she is someone who relies more on her personality than her looks?? Who admits to NOT being drop dead gorgeous?? Have we found the closest thing to a feminist icon that a Bachelor-type reality show is ever likely to produce?? Well....not if the producers have anything to do with it....What was with those opening car wash shots?? As if Jillian is going to have wash her own new sports car! Please. Yes, she has a cute butt - we get it. Thank you for making sure we know how important that is compared to what she's saying...

But god bless her, she hung on to her feisty individuality and balked at the notion of finding her "husband" with a capital H on that first night, no matter how much the issue was pressed.

Let the games begin.

So, there's almost too much to say about this batch of wackos that they got together for her -- between the disgusting fitness model guy who had some nonsensical and unpronounceable nickname and the -- I'm sorry -- ignorant hick who thought that calling her "Hot Tub Harris" referring to her relationship with the Bachelor last season was endearing....AND THEN went on to dismiss the entire city of New York (MY hometown, thank you very much) because of "all the ethnicity." WOW. That guy had me at hello, let me tell ya.

Thank goodness she had the obvious sense to get rid of that guy. WAIT a minute!!! She didn't??? You mean, she kept ignorant hick dude and got rid of perfectly nice John P. and adorable Brooklyn thrift store guy, who was, granted, a little immature, but very sweet! Even Stephen, the nerdy lawyer guy, who never even had the nerve to say a word to her would have been better than THAT guy! Oh, Jillian, WHY??

"Hey, remember when you almost had sex in the hot tub with that other guy? That was hot!"

Anyway, I'm happy with her other picks. I liked Jake (pilot guy) Juan (cue the Spanish music guy) and Michael (break dance guy) from the start -- all three are very cute and seem sweet. It's too soon to tell of course....oh, and at least creepy foot fetish guy got the boot. (ha)

One prediction - Sasha is pretty hot, but my radar totally went off when I saw that guy. Something is saying he's no good. That's just my instinct - or bullshit.

So, I'm very happy to be with you all again. Thanks so much for logging on.

SEND COMMENTS!!! I love it!!!!!